Dorothy Parker Quotes

Quotes about:

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

  171 Copy quote
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  Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

  Dorothy Parker

  Intelligent, Appreciate, Audience

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  222 Copy quote

• If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

  Dorothy Parker

  Nice, Magnolias, Social Graces

  119 Copy quote

• I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

  Dorothy Parker

  Drinking, Two, Alcohol

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  187 Copy quote

• The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Life, Wisdom

  122 Copy quote

• If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Inspiring, God

  160 Copy quote
• 

  Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

  Dorothy Parker

  Creativity, Eye, Mind

  185 Copy quote

• Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

  Dorothy Parker

  Dirty, Hands, Missing

  153 Copy quote

• You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Women, Thinking

  On being challenged to use "horticulture" in a sentence, in John Keats You Might as well Live (1970) p. 46

  108 Copy quote

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

  102 Copy quote

• The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

  Dorothy Parker

  Morning, Tongue, Firsts

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  203 Copy quote

• If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.

  Dorothy Parker

  Friendship, Happy, Writing

  161 Copy quote
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  The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

  Dorothy Parker

  Law, Laws Of Life, Dependable

  Dorothy Parker (2002). “Complete Stories”, p.200, Penguin

  189 Copy quote

• Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

  Dorothy Parker

  Honesty, Mean, Where You Are

  34 Copy quote

• Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

  Dorothy Parker

  Humorous, Voice, Looks

  46 Copy quote

• Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

  Dorothy Parker

  Years, Style, Garments

  146 Copy quote

• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

  Dorothy Parker

  Hangover, Wrath, Grapes

  90 Copy quote

• You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

  Dorothy Parker

  Dogma, Tricks, Wit

  Attributed to Dorothy Parker after her death in Robert E. Drennan "The Algonquin Wits" (p. 124), 1968.

  123 Copy quote

• If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.

  Dorothy Parker

  Sex, Party, Skirts

  133 Copy quote

• Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

  Dorothy Parker

  Heterosexuality Is, Diversity, Normal

  34 Copy quote

• This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

  Dorothy Parker

  Book, Reading, Beer

  Quoted in The AlgonquinWits, ed. Robert E. Drennan (1968)

  70 Copy quote

• Four be the things I am wiser to know:
  Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
  Four be the things I'd been better without:
  Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
  Three be the things I shall never attain:
  Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
  Three be the things I shall have till I die:
  Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

  Dorothy Parker

  Hope, Laughter, Eye

  Dorothy Parker (1992). “The Sayings of Dorothy Parker”, Duckbacks

  102 Copy quote

• I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

  Dorothy Parker

  Drinking, Writing, Problem

  107 Copy quote

• If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

  Dorothy Parker

  Sex, Yale, Would Be

  62 Copy quote

• There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Women, Distance

  Quoted in Paris Review, Summer 1956

  94 Copy quote

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