Funny Valentine Quotes - Page 2

• Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Valentine, Mean

  18 Copy quote
• 

  One word
  Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
  That word is love.

  Sophocles

  Love, Life, Wedding

  "Oedipus at Colonus". Play by Sophocles, Lines 1616-1618,

  236 Copy quote

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• 'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  I Love You, Valentines Day, I Love Him

  24 Copy quote

• One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde (2004). “The Best of Oscar Wilde: Selected Plays and Writings”, p.144, Penguin

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• I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.

  Emma Goldman

  Life, Valentines Day, Nature

  68 Copy quote

• Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

  Jules Renard

  Love, Inspirational, Valentines Day

  97 Copy quote

• Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

  1280 Copy quote

• The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.

  Blaise Pascal

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  Pensees no. 680 (1658)

  164 Copy quote

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• A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

  H. L. Mencken

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Women

  18 Copy quote

• This is love: to fly toward a secret sky

  Rumi

  Valentines Day, Sky, Making Love

  Jalāl al-Dīn Rūmī (Maulana), Jelaluddin Rumi, Kabir Helminski, Andrew Harvey (2005). “The Rumi Collection: An Anthology of Translations of Mevlâna Jalâluddin Rumi”, p.53, Shambhala Publications

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• The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Love, Funny, Humor

  24 Copy quote

• This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.

  Rumi

  Love, Valentines Day, Letting Go

  Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi, “This Is Love”

  72 Copy quote

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• Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

  Courteney Cox

  Valentines Day, Funny Love, Honesty

  10 Copy quote

• Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.

  Joyce Cary

  Love, Valentines Day, Eden

  Joyce Cary (1958). “First trilogy: Herself surprised: To be a pilgrim. The horse's mouth”

  11 Copy quote

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• A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

  Helen Rowland

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  "A Guide to Men: Being Encore Reflections of a Bachelor Girl". Book by Helen Rowland. Chapter: "Second Marriages", 1922.

  83 Copy quote

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• You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic.

  Richard E. Besser

  Funny Love, Price Tag, Preparation

  Source: content.time.com

  11 Copy quote

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• The bravest thing that men do is love women.

  Mort Sahl

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Silly

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• At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

  Joan Rivers

  Heart, Age, Bypass

  28 Copy quote

• Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!

  Greg Giraldo

  Funny, Girlfriend, Sex

  41 Copy quote

• Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.

  Big Pun

  Valentines Day, True Love, Sad Love

  Song: Punish Me, Album: Capital Punishment, 1998

  72 Copy quote

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• Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

  Honore Gabriel Riqueti, comte de Mirabeau

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Believe

  23 Copy quote

• You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.

  Melanie Clark Pullen

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  35 Copy quote

• Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

  Lewis Black

  Funny Valentines Day, Holiday, Special

  12 Copy quote

• Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.

  David Letterman

  Valentines Day, Together, Beets

  21 Copy quote

• Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.

  Catullus

  Funny Valentines Day, Kissing, Giving

  Gaius Valerius Catullus, Peter Green (2005). “The Poems of Catullus”, p.49, Univ of California Press

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