Ass Quotes - Page 39

• Never use jargon words like 'reconceptualize', 'demassification', 'attitudinally', 'judgmentally'. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

  David Ogilvy

  Use, Jargon, Pretentious

  David Ogilvy (2012). “The Unpublished David Ogilvy”, p.54, Profile Books

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• All I want to do is sit on my ass and fart and think of Dante.

  Samuel Beckett

  Thinking, Want, Fart

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• Above all things, be not made an ass to carry the burdens of other men if any friend desire thee to be his surety, give him a part of what thou has to spare if he presses thee further, he is not thy friend at all.

  Walter Raleigh

  Men, Giving, Desire

  Sir Walter Raleigh (1829). “The Works of Sir Walter Ralegh, Kt: Miscellaneous works”, p.565

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• We probaly in hell already, our dumb asses not knowin, everybody kissin ass to go to heaven aint goin.

  Tupac Shakur

  Heaven, Dumb, Hell

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• You could smell my ass from mars.

  Joe Rogan

  Smell, Mars

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• I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Lying, Guy

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• I've always wanted to be an action heroine. That's a chick dream, getting to wear a leather bodysuit and be blonde and kick ass.

  Olivia Thirlby

  Dream, Blonde, Action

  Source: collider.com

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• A synopsis of every story we do: someone gets over their own stupid ass.

  Kieron Gillen

  Stupid, Stories, Synopsis

  "The Return of the Ultimate Music-Obsessive Comic, Phonogram". Interview with Tom Ewing, pitchfork.com. August 12, 2015.

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• If you're ever making a television show, don't cast smart actors because they are just a pain in the ass. The moment you start to bullshit them you've lost them, so you have to either know what you're talking about or when you don't talk to them.

  Ray McKinnon

  Pain, Smart, Talking

  Source: www.indiewire.com

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• If they [at the audition] don't like the way you sound they won't buy you anyway, ripped dress or no ripped dress, ass hanging out or no ass hanging out.

  Bette Midler

  Sound, Dresses, Way

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• For some reason California's always been where the struggle is about how much authority you can impose on people's private lives. It seems to show up there most clearly. They had a helmet law for motorcycles in California and the bikies were saying things like, "It restricts my vision. I can't hear what my bike's doing. If it was on fire I wouldn't know it until my ass caught." And at the bottom line what the bikies were saying was, "Look, it's my goddamn head and if I want to splatter my brains all over the guardrails on the Coast Highway, super for me."

  Stephen King

  Struggle, California, Fire

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• No matter how hard I worked, whatever I accomplished was attributed to my looks. If you're working your ass off, then you don't want to be told that you only got whatever because of the way you look. It takes the heart out of you.

  Gloria Steinem

  Heart, Want, Matter

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• My sense of humor was a tool for me getting past my mother and father separating, my older brother having cerebral palsy, and the bullies in the schoolyard. I had to make them laugh to keep them off my ass. I brought that to my professional career.

  Tracy Morgan

  Mother, Brother, Father

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• A fire lit under my ass? Yeah, that's true. No time to waste.

  Madonna Ciccone

  Fire, Waste, Yeah

  Source: www.independent.ie

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• I was like, "Excuse me, guys. My ass is going to be facing this way. Do you mind maybe just standing over there during this take because something is going to happen."

  Cameron Diaz

  Guy, Mind, Way

  "Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau Talk THE OTHER WOMAN, Their Chemistry on Set, the Rating, and More". collider.com. April 22, 2014.

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• If I were an animal, I'd probably be a bald eagle, since I'm already bald and I love to fish. But I'd probably be a shaky-ass eagle because I'm afraid of flying.

  Steve Harvey

  Animal, Eagles, Flying

  Steve Harvey The "Think Like a Man" Interview with Kam Williams, aalbc.com.

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• I think that in America there is a new movement of underground movies that wants to kick the ass of independent films that they think whine too much.

  John Waters

  Independent, Thinking, America

  Interview with Jonathan Ross, www.theguardian.com. November 17, 1998.

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• I would sooner die of a taipan bite then tell my dad that I got bitten by a taipan. Because my nose would bleed from his kicking my ass.

  Steve Irwin

  Dad, Kicking, Noses

  Source: www.reptilesmagazine.com

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• I like those blow-up beds. "This becomes a full size bed in three minutes!" Well, a mattress kicks your ass. Zero seconds. "Yeah, but you can store this thing." You can store a bed, too - in the bedroom.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Zero, Humor

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• Whatever you do, stay focused. Because any stuff is not going to last forever. Once you get a show at something, you gotta roll with it. You can't sit on your ass. You better keep working. You better stay motivated.

  Juicy J

  Forever, Stuff, Lasts

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

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• THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Kissing, Political, Fans

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

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• It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket, but when I'm sitting a table signing books, sometimes I notice that a woman will have remarkable breasts. And I will maybe quietly say something about it. It's not in a sexual way, because I'm a gay man - I would never say to a man "great ass" because that would be sort of creepy.. I hope it's not creepy to quietly tell a woman she has nice breasts.

  David Sedaris

  Nice, Book, Gay

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• I'm not in a recession. I'm doing very, very well. I'm doing incredibly well. I just want to be honest. I really am kicking ass.

  Jim Carrey

  Kicking, Want, Honest

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• It's always fun to do something that you know ultimately is not about the money, and it's certainly not for the fame - because it's a pain in the ass. But it's really the person in the theater seat you think about when you sit in a room and write.

  Jim Carrey

  Fun, Pain, Writing

  "Jim Carrey Interview: Yes Man". Interview with Cole Haddon, www.mtv.com. December 18, 2008.

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• Nothing I study makes me think we will survive this century. And yet why am I so happy? Because it's not too late. Just get off your ass and work for revolution.

  Patch Adams

  Thinking, Too Late, Revolution

  Source: www.natureandhealth.com.au

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