Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Eating

Quotes about: Eating

• I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Wine, Humor

  Live album: "Mitch All Together". Track 3 "Not Track Five, Not Chainsaw Juggler", December 9, 2003.

• I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Mean

• I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Drinking, Fall

• I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shi*, I had to be somewhere..."

  Mitch Hedberg

  Guy, Watches, Hamburgers

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