Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Walking

Quotes about: Walking

• My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Doe

• If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Would Be

• I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend, and I say something, he says, "What?" So I say it again, and he says, "What?" Really, it's just some insignificant stuff I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, "That tree is far away!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Yelling

• A lot of bands have intense names, like "Rigor Mortis" or "Mortuary". We weren't that intense, we called ourselves "Injured". Later on we changed it to "Acapella" when we were walking out of the pawn shop.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Rigor Mortis

• I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Philosophy, Humor

  "Strategic Grill Locations". Live Album by Mitch Hedberg, September 7, 1999.

• Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care, it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Two, Ducks, Giving

• You got to always take advantage of getting your room cleaned. You may think it's nice not to have anybody in your room, like your privacy's not being invaded. But there's nothing like walking back into a clean room. You've got to remember that.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Nice, Thinking, May

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