Mitch Hedberg Quotes About Running

Quotes about: Running

• I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Humor

  "Strategic Grill Locations". Comedy album by Mitch Hedberg, 1999.

• If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Humor

• When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Humor

• If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Humor

• I was at a bar, and this guy bumped into me, and he did not apologize, and he said, "Move!" I thought that was rude, so I said, "Go to hell!" Then I started to run. He caught up to me. He had a mustache, a goatee, a pair of earrings, sunglasses, a ponytail and he was wearing a hat. He said, "Hey, you got a lot of nerve!" I said, "Hey, you got a lot of... cranium accessories!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Moving

• I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Running, Block

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