Mark Twain Hilarious Quotes

• Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

  Mark Twain

  Hilarious, Tree, Opponents
• 

  Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

• Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

• What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Anniversary, Hilarious

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.41, St. Martin's Press

• There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Talking

  "Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist".

• I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

  Mark Twain

  Hilarious, Inspiration, Ironic

• Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Hilarious, Men

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