Mark Twain Quotes About Theology

• Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.

  Mark Twain

  Religious, Brother, Cutting

  "Man's Place in the Animal World" (ca. 1896)

• I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great.

  Mark Twain

  Should Have, Ideas, Hinduism

  Mark Twain (1925). “The Writings of Mark Twain [pseud.]”

• Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds.

  Mark Twain

  Book, Loss, Gun

  Mark Twain (2004). “The Portable Mark Twain”, p.495, Penguin

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