Mark Twain Quotes About Today

• Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Positivity, Today

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.48, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

• If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

  Mark Twain

  Two, Giving, Design

• So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays.
  What you do today is important, because you are sacrificing a day of your life for it.
  Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

  Mark Twain

  Tired, Sacrifice, Men

• There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity of today, bad as it is, hypocritical as it is, empty and hollow as it is, neither the deity nor his son is a Christian, nor qualified for that moderately high place. Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.

  Mark Twain

  Christian, Son, Blood

• Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

  Mark Twain (1979). “Early Tales & Sketches, Vol. 1: 1851-1864”, p.180, Univ of California Press

• I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

  Mark Twain

  Sight, Hands, Today

• I cherish the dreams of yesterday and dare not dwell on the err's of my past whose fate has been long decided, and effect I can not change. For the dreams of yesterday are the challenges of today, and the hope for tomorrow.

  Mark Twain

  Dream, Fate, Past

• I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

  Mark Twain

  Character, Home, Two

• Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.

  Mark Twain

  Advice, Today, Tomorrow

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.94, Courier Corporation

• There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

  Mark Twain

  Encouragement, Stress, Issues

• I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.

  Mark Twain

  Men, Thinking, Hands

  Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.26, Univ of Wisconsin Press

• Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!

  Mark Twain

  Fall, Men, Giving

  Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.8014, Delphi Classics

• You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away) hundreds and hundreds of religions; today he has hundreds and hundreds of religions, and launches not fewer than three new ones every year. I could enlarge on that number and still be within the facts.

  Mark Twain

  Past, Years, Numbers

  Mark Twain (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated)”, p.4122, Delphi Classics

• Today's burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow.

  Mark Twain

  Today, Tomorrow, Burden

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