Mark Twain Quotes About Parents

• In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?

  Mark Twain

  New York, Boston, Philadelphia

  "What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us" (1895) See Disraeli 10

• Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

  Mark Twain

  Children, Effort, Parent

• Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

  Mark Twain

  Bible, Girl, Children

  Mark Twain (1995). “The Bible According to Mark Twain: Writings on Heaven, Eden, and the Flood”, p.256, University of Georgia Press

• Darwin abolished special creations, contributed the Origin of Species and hitched all life together in one unbroken procession of Siamese Twins, the whole evolved by natural and orderly processes from one microscopic parent germ.

  Mark Twain

  Life, Science, Parent

  Mark Twain (2003). “Tales of Wonder”, p.223, U of Nebraska Press

• Always obey your parents - when they are present.

  Mark Twain

  Children, Humorous, Parenting

  Mark Twain, Gregg Camfield, Sally Wern Comport (2005). “Mark Twain”, p.31, Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

• Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.

  Mark Twain

  Running, Thinking, Long

  Mark Twain (2004). “Mark Twain’s Helpful Hints for Good Living: A Handbook for the Damned Human Race”, p.135, Univ of California Press

• As one boy said, 'I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they're all that bad, how come I'm so wonderful'

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Thinking, Boys

• My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

  Mark Twain

  Parenting, Parent, Honest

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.26, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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