Mark Twain Quotes About Funeral

• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Death

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

• Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Death

  Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 9, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

• If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.

  Mark Twain

  Sleep, Funeral, Trying

  Mark Twain (2013). “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”, p.9, Atlântico Press

• Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

  Mark Twain

  Funeral, Religion, World

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.401, Courier Corporation

• He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Humorous, Thinking

  Mark Twain, Charles Dudley Warner (1874). “The Gilded Age: A Tale of To-day”, p.107

• I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

  Mark Twain

  Funny Friendship, Exercise, Funeral

  Mark Twain (1972). “Everyone's Mark Twain”

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