Milton Berle Quotes About Valentines

Quotes about: Valentines

• My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Heart, Wife

• All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Wife, Cards

• Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Remember, Cupid

• She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

  Milton Berle

  Nice, Valentine, Heart

• The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Pieces, Break

• Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

  Milton Berle

  Nice, Valentine, Holiday

• I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Doors, Wife

• Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce.

  Milton Berle

  Valentine, Armistice Day, Truce

• My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

  Milton Berle

  Mother, Valentine, Heart

• My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

  Milton Berle

  Real, Valentine, Thinking

• On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

  Milton Berle

  Mother, Valentine, Flower

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