Sarcastic Quotes - Page 30

• If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Block, Feet

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• I have some sarcastic sides of me.

  Eden Sher

  Sides

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Football, Sarcasm, Games

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• I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm dumb, I smell. Did I mention I'm stupid?

  Eminem

  Funny, Beauty, Stupid

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• The more I see of man, the more I like dogs.

  Madame de Stael

  Funny, Dog, Animal

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• A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

  Honore de Balzac

  Sarcasm, Wife, Thrones

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• When I first started writing, I was living in England and I had that uniquely English sense of sarcasm, which has definitely seemed to have left me. I am a naturalized American and my sensibility has become far more American.

  Jane Green

  Writing, Sarcasm, Firsts

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• He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

  Anton Chekhov

  Funny, Art, Desire

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• I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

  Matt Groening

  Funny, Friendship, Sweet

  "The Simpsons/ The Old Man and the Lisa". Animation, Comedy, 1997.

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• The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Christian, Friday

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• Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

  Marianne Moore

  Sarcasm, Suffering, Criticism

  Marianne Moore, Patricia C. Willis (1986). “The complete prose of Marianne Moore”, Viking Pr

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• Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Marriage, Block

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• To live as one likes is plebian the noble man aspires to order and law.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Funny, Men, Noble Man

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• Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.

  Rowan Atkinson

  Funny, Men, Rights

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• If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Travel

  1895 Mrs Cheveley speaking. An Ideal Husband, act 3.

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• To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Family, Children

  The Importance of Being Earnest act 1 (1895)

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• Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Marriage, Disappointment

  The Picture of Dorian Gray ch. 4 (1891).Wilde used the same words in A Woman of No Importance (1893).

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• Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Mean, Sandwiches

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• A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Women

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “The Wit and Wisdom of Oscar Wilde”, p.13, Courier Corporation

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• Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.

  Pamela Anderson

  Funny, Thinking, People

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• Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Independent Women, Mind

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “A Woman of No Importance”, p.50, Trajectory Inc

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• The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

  Dave Barry

  Baby, Sarcasm, Men

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• This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Music, Sarcasm, Enough

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• The problem with these interviews is that there's no sarcastic font.

  Zach Galifianakis

  Fonts, Interviews, Problem

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