Sarcastic Quotes - Page 28

• Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

  John Barrymore

  Love, Beautiful, Girl

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• A person who can laugh and go with life does not demand to be in control, which is why the most controlling people may be sarcastic but lack an authentic sense of humor.

  Richard Rohr

  People, Laughing, Doe

  Richard Rohr (2010). “On the Threshold of Transformation”, p.197, Loyola Press

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• An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived.

  Herbert Samuel, 1st Viscount Samuel

  Funny, Sarcasm, Men

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• An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

  Irvin S. Cobb

  Funny, Sarcasm, Lines

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• Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

  Robert Benchley

  Inspirational, Funny, Educational

  "With Truth as Our Sword". Book by C. E. Sylvester, February 2005.

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• We're both [with Mark Wahlberg] capable of being sarcastic, vicious, violent lunatics, but we hold each other in check, appeal to the best aspects of each other.

  Peter Berg

  Violent, Checks, Vicious

  Source: ew.com

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• Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

  Woody Allen

  Time, Fun, Humorous

  "Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor" by Bill Adler and Jeffrey Feinman, (p. 4), 1976.

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• Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny.

  Pearl Mary Teresa Craigie

  Funny, Mistake, Sarcasm

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• I don't know if Hillary [Clinton] was saying it in a sarcastic manner, but I'm very proud to have the endorsement of the NRA.

  Donald Trump

  Proud, Nra, Clinton

  Source: time.com

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• I can be much more sarcastic and, I think, sometimes withering in my assessments of things than I allow to show in my public life.

  Barack Obama

  Thinking, Assessment, Sometimes

  Source: www.vanityfair.com

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• Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Courage, Peace, Military

  Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Large Bold Edition”, p.45, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

  Josh Billings

  Angel, Sarcasm, Men

  Josh Billings (1913). “Wit and Wisdom of Josh Billings [pseud.]: Choice Bits of Fun and Philosophy of the Great Humorist Carefully Collected and Revised”

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• If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

  Charlie Pierce

  Funny, Mother, Witty

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• Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

  David Letterman

  Funny, Eye, Feelings

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• Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

  Franz Grillparzer

  Sarcasm, Shining, Criticism

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• Some people don't get it when I'm being sarcastic.

  Leonardo DiCaprio

  People, Miscellaneous, Being Sarcastic

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• I have this odd tendency to be really sarcastic when I'm uncomfortable and I don't really know why but it just comes out and it's come out since I was a child.

  Mila Kunis

  Children, Odd, Tendencies

  Source: movies.about.com

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• I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

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• Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Appreciate, Approval, Action

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• Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Animal, Purpose, Mouths

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.70, 谷月社

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• Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.

  Mahmoud Darwish

  Pain, Sarcasm, Reality

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• It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

  Josh Billings

  Money, Sarcasm, Men

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• The secret of a successful restaurant is sharp knives.

  George Orwell

  Funny, Sarcasm, Successful

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• Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Mad, Intellectual, Independence

  Ambrose Bierce (2013). “The Devil's Dictionary (or The Cynic's Wordbook: Unabridged with all the Definitions)”, p.126, e-artnow

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• The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.

  Heath Ledger

  Thinking, America, People

  "Remembering Heath Ledger" by Prairie Miller, newsblaze.com. January 23, 2008.

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