Jokes Quotes - Page 38

• Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.

  Carrie Fisher

  Life, Lines, Actresses

  Carrie Fisher (2011). “Postcards From the Edge”, p.131, Simon and Schuster

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• Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.

  Louise Rennison

  Thinking, Upset, Dumped Her

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• In the two months I had also dated Justin Fellowes, this guy in my Spanish class, though after three weeks we decided we should "see other people," which in my case was a joke, but it beat hearing him remark on everything I ate. 'I don't know why girls are always on a diet,' he'd say when I ordered a Diet Coke, and 'You should watch your starch intake' when I had a muffin.

  Deb Caletti

  Girl, Class, Two

  Deb Caletti (2010). “Nature of Jade”, p.85, Simon and Schuster

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• Then I could not help wondering what the watching gods thought of us, with our clever masks and our jokes. What we think of crickets, perhaps, whose singing we hear with pleasure, though some of us smash them with our heels when they venture into sight.

  Gene Wolfe

  Clever, Thinking, Sight

  Gene Wolfe (1989). “Soldier of Arete”, p.362, Macmillan

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• ... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny.

  Curtis Sittenfeld

  Heart, Broke, My Heart

  Curtis Sittenfeld (2005). “Prep: a novel”

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• To such men the desperate and horrible thought has come that perhaps the whole of human life is but a bad joke, a violent and ill-fated abortion of the primal mother, a savage and dismal catastophe of nature.

  Hermann Hesse

  Mother, Men, Abortion

  Hermann Hesse (2013). “Steppenwolf: A Novel”, p.45, Macmillan

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• If I made a joke about just dropping by, would you write me off as cliché?

  Cassandra Clare

  Writing, Cliche, Jace

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• There had been a popular joke on Freedom, started by a man named Calder. Looking down from space, he had said, the dominant life forms on Earth were obviously the cereals and other grasses. They occupied all the most desirable and fertile land; and they had tamed insects and animals to care for them. In particular, they had domesticated the bipeds to nurture and cultivate them and to save and plant their seed. Now, watching the farmers, Alex could easily imagine that they were worshiping and genuflecting before their masters.

  Larry Niven

  Men, Animal, Space

  Jerry Pournelle, Larry Niven, Michael Flynn (2002). “Fallen Angels”, p.232, Baen Publishing Enterprises

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• Our world will not die as the result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, or making a joke of everything, and a lousy joke at that.

  Carlos Ruiz Zafon

  Laughter, Our World, Bombs

  Carlos Ruiz Zafon (2005). “The Shadow of the Wind”, p.106, Penguin

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• You should not take old people who are already dead seriously. It does them injustice. We immortals do not like things to be taken seriously. We like joking. Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don't mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is no time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.

  Hermann Hesse

  Taken, Men, Years

  Hermann Hesse (1980). “Six Novels: With Other Stories and Essays”

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• Half of the time I don't know what they're talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but me has shared. I'm a foreigner in the world and I don't understand the language.

  Jean Webster

  Past, Talking, Half

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• "I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting" ... "But that's not all people laugh at." "Isn't it? Perhaps I don't grok all its fullness yet. But find me something that really makes you laugh sweetheart... a joke, or anything else- but something that gave you a a real belly laugh, not a smile. Then we'll see if there isn't a wrongness wasn't there." He thought. "I grok when apes learn to laugh, they'll be people."

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Hurt, Real, People

  "Stranger in a Strange Land". Book by Robert A. Heinlein, 1961.

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• Families are like countries. They have their own language and jokes and secrets and assumptions about the right and wrong ways of doing things, and some of that always shows in the children, the way something of Germany or Australia always shows in a German or an Australian, no matter where they go. Outsiders like it or they don't, they feel at home there or they don't. It's like the taste of cilantro.

  Roland Merullo

  Country, Children, Home

  Roland Merullo (2009). “A Little Love Story: A Novel”, p.96, Vintage

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• It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy.

  Tao Lin

  Half, Entertainment, Comedy

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• You remember having friends who used to lampoon the world so effortlessly, crouching at the verge of every joke and waiting to pounce on it, and you remember how they changed as they grew older and the joy of questioning everything slowly became transformed into the pain of questioning everything, like a star consuming its own core.

  Kevin Brockmeier

  Stars, Pain, Joy

  Kevin Brockmeier (2008). “The View from the Seventh Layer: Stories”, p.101, Vintage

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• He'd assumed that you went to school because you had to learn things, starting off with the easy stuff and moving on to the bigger issues, and once you'd learned them that was it, the way ahead opened up and thereafter life was simple and straightforward. What a joke. The older he got, the more complicated and obscure everything became.

  Mary Lawson

  Moving, School, Simple

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• Shame about how we’re gonna die here, though. I mean, seriously. An Arab and a half-Jew enter a store in Tennessee. It’s the beginning of a joke, and the punch line is “sodomy’’.

  John Green

  Mean, Tennessee, Half

  John Green (2008). “An Abundance of Katherines”, p.35, Penguin

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• You know, I wouldn’t have done this a month ago. I wouldn’t have done it then. Then I was avoiding. Now I’m just waiting. Things happen to me. They do. They have to go ahead and happen. You watch – you wait… Things still happen here and something is waiting to happen to me. I can tell. Recently my life feels like a bloodcurdling joke. Recently my life has taken on *form* Something is waiting. I am waiting. Soon, it will stop waiting – any day now. Awful things can happen any time. This is the awful thing.

  Martin Amis

  Taken, Waiting, Watches

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• War happens to people, one by one. That is really all I have to say and it seems to me I have been saying it forever. Unless they are immediate victims, the majority of mankind behaves as if war was an act of God which could not be prevented; or they behave as if war elsewhere was none of their business. It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.

  Martha Gellhorn

  War, Imagination, People

  "Gellhorn: A Twentieth Century Life". Book by Caroline Moorehead, 2003.

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• Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes.

  Michael Ondaatje

  Justice, Deeper

  Michael Ondaatje (2011). “Coming Through Slaughter”, p.86, A&C Black

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• What are you grinning at?" Katsa demanded for the third or fourth time. "Is the ceiling about to cave in on my head or something? You look like we're both on the verge of an enormous joke." "Katsa, only you would consider the collapse of the ceiling a good joke.

  Kristin Cashore

  Ceilings, Looks, Caves

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• I said it, just like that. No stupid jokes, no changing the subject. For once, I wasn't embarrassed, because it was the truth. I had fallen. I think I had always been falling. And she might as well know, if she didn't already, because there was no going back now. Not for me.

  Kami Garcia

  Stupid, Fall, Thinking

  "Beautiful Creatures". Book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, books.google.ru. December 1, 2009.

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• His brothers could tease him about his height or the number of scars he was collecting on his body. He could take the joke when they said he would die having never won a fair wrestling match. But the topic of Bettin still smarted too much. He'd imagined being with her always. Now when he closed his eyes, he had trouble imagining anything else.

  Shannon Hale

  Brother, Wrestling, Eye

  Shannon Hale (2010). “River Secrets”, p.15, A&C Black

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• We don't want to lose you Lord Rahl. We don't want to go back to way things were." She sounded on the verge of tears. "We like being able to do simple things, like make a joke, and laugh. We could never do such things before. We always lived in fear that if we said the wrong thing we would be beaten, or worse. Now that we have seen another way, we don't want to go back to that. If you throw your life away for the Midlands, then we will.- Cara

  Terry Goodkind

  Simple, Laughing, Tears

  Terry Goodkind (2015). “Blood of the Fold”, p.207, RosettaBooks

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• jokes are used to hide the truth!

  Eric Jerome Dickey

  Used

  Twitter post from Jul 30, 2015

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