W. C. Fields Quotes About Giving

Quotes about: Giving

• If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Husband, Humorous

  W.C. Fields (2016). “Fields for President”, p.36, Rowman & Littlefield

• I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving Up, Beer, Alcohol

• Never give a sucker an even break.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Wine, Break Even

  Quoted in Boston Daily Globe, 9 Sept. 1923.

• My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

  W. C. Fields

  Daughter, Men, Thinking

• Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

  W. C. Fields

  Uncles, Men, Giving

• Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving, Establishment, Middle

• The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving, Income, Tails

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