W. C. Fields Quotes About Alcohol

Quotes about: Alcohol

• I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Drinking

• Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Clever

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

  W. C. Fields

  Gambling, Alcohol, Half

• Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

  W. C. Fields

  Inspirational, Funny, Party

• A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Drinking, Book

• Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Travel, Book, Drinking

• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I drink therefore I am.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Clever, Drinking

• I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Humor, Water

• Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Beer, Reality

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, House, Alcohol

• You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

  W. C. Fields

  Trust, Water, Alcohol

• I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving Up, Beer, Alcohol

• Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

  W. C. Fields

  Religious, Drinking, Hysteria

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

• I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

  W. C. Fields

  Inspirational, Funny, Book

  In Corey Ford Time of Laughter (1970) p. 182

• I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

  W. C. Fields

  Beer, Water, Alcohol

• Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Alcohol, Done

  "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

• The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Cost Of Living, Alcohol

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Doctors, Blood

• I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.

  W. C. Fields

  Years, Alcohol, Use

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