Jerry Seinfeld Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Laundry, Faster, Pta

  6 Copy quote

• Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Pain, Glowing, Flames

  "Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time'". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1998.

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• The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Personality, Comedian, Kind

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• Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Baseball, Games, Tvs

  "Oprah Talks to Jerry Seinfeld". Interview with Oprah Winfrey, www.oprah.com. November, 2007.

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• The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Beautiful, Men, Ideas

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• I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sexy, Naked, Show Me

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• It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Phones, Meditation, Mind

  6 Copy quote

• The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Scripts, Phony, Outfits

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• Why would anybody want a friend?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny Friend, Want

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• Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sex, Wells, Ifs

  "Fictional character: Jerry Seinfeld". "Seinfeld", www.imdb.com. 1989–1998.

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• What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sorry, Thinking, Dating

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• I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Humorous, Phones, Wish

  "Seinfeld". Season 2, Episode 4: "The Phone Message", 1989-1999.

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• The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Fun, Knowing, Comedian

  "Takes One to Know One". Interview with David Steinberg, www.latimes.com. November 24, 2008.

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• Sometimes you can do certain things on stage, or even in a TV series, and people see the look on your face and they know what you mean, so you can get away with certain things. But if you can't create that look on an animated character, which is essentially a puppet, the line will hit the audience in a very bad way.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Character, Mean, People

  Interview with Peter Sciretta, www.slashfilm.com. November 3, 2007.

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• When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Doe, Tasks, Environment

  "Oprah Talks to Jerry Seinfeld". Interview with Oprah Winfrey, www.oprah.com. November, 2007.

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• There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Humor, Men

  7 Copy quote

• Economy is essential to all good art.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Art, Essentials, Economy

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• The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Real, Writing, Car

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• We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Country, World, Kind

  "Jerry Seinfeld: Heard the one about the reunion?". Interview with Stephen Armstrong, www.theguardian.com. October 12, 2009.

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• I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Freaking Out

  "Fictional character: Michael Barret". "Zoey 101", 2005–2008.

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• A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Greatest Fear, Average, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I'd like to do one of those jumps they do in the movies; in a car, over a bridge, in the air with a huge explosion. It would be a final moment of entertainment.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Air, Bridges, Car

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• And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Kids, Needs, Costumes

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• Festivus for the Restivus!

  Jerry Seinfeld

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• Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Years, People, Tvs

  "'Seinfeld' cast yearns for the days of puffy shirts". www.today.com. November 22, 2005.

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