Jerry Seinfeld Quotes About Giving

Quotes about: Giving

• So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're like: "What is this? What did you say?" "What did you say about giving out candy? Who's giving out candy?" "Everyone that we know is just giving out candy!"

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Halloween, Kids, Giving

• Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Flower, Squirrels

• You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Giving Up, World, Might

  "Philadelphia Has A Brotherly Love Affair With Sweats". Interview with Robert Siegel, www.npr.org. October 12, 2012.

• A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Greatest Fear, Average, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Jobs, Lying, Ideas

• The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a chance to do what they do.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Thinking, People, Giving

  "Q&A: Seinfeld finds new 'space and place' with Web series". Interview with Ryan Nakashima, www.times-standard.com. October 7, 2015.

• What is the story with the airport sinks, that they will not give us a twist-on twist-off human faucet. "Is it that too risky for the human population? We have to do the one-handed pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucets. "What is it they think we will do? Turn 'em all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Running, Pain, Thinking

• I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Mean, Caring, Giving

  "Fictional character: Jerry Seinfeld". "Seinfeld/ The Sponge", 1995.

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