Jokes Quotes - Page 19

• The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with Andrew Ridgeley] were two guys really making asses of ourselves.

  George Michael

  Two, People, Guy

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• Everything was meant to wind people up [in Make It Big ]. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in winding people up, but we really did think they would get the joke. And it backfired on us.

  George Michael

  Thinking, Wind, People

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• Let me say this. [Donald] Trump is the only person that has control over what Trump does. Maybe his supporters support him but they don't support every single thing about him. Maybe they are misguided about what it means to be friends with Russia. Maybe they come to my show and they never thought about sexism in the way that I talk about it in a joke.

  Jen Kirkman

  Mean, Russia, Support

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I don't do jokes about elections so that's probably why it went okay for me, except for the crazy people that are hate-crime people.

  Jen Kirkman

  Hate, Crazy, People

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of "Law and Order" or something.

  John Mulaney

  Order, Law, Trying

  Source: uproxx.com

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• I have tons of jokes with moments in them over the years in stand-up that don't get a laugh but I love them so they stay.

  John Mulaney

  Years, Laughing, Moments

  Source: uproxx.com

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• Occasionally you get that one person that says "I really like that one part of this joke" and you go, "Oh thank you that's my favorite part too." But no, in order for it to be authentic hopefully you have jokes that everyone can just get on board with and then you have a few things for yourself.

  John Mulaney

  Order, Boards, That One Person

  Source: uproxx.com

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• Musalia [Mudavadi] has a much weaker character in person than [Musikari] Kombo, and you know the joke about humble Luhya servants as cooks and watchmen...Anyway, jokes aside, Luhya disunity is a blessing for us and I would never have wanted it any other way.

  Raila Odinga

  Humble, Character, Blessing

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• Actually, I started as a ventriloquist and my music teacher said, "Why don't you emcee the talent show?" My act was out of the back of Boys' Life magazine-they had a whole series of jokes in the back of Boys' Life magazine for Boy Scouts. So my act was jokes with my ventriloquist figure, and it was really bad, but I walked into the classroom afterward and the kids went, "Wow, you're cool." I wasn't cool at all, but I thought, "Well, this is a pretty good deal."

  David Copperfield

  Teacher, Kids, Boys

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• I always thought it was important to overdeliver, and when I got one of my first jobs, writing jokes for Garry Shandling when he was hosting the Grammys, I stayed up all night and wrote a hundred jokes, and I thought, "I'm always going to be the person that gives them more than they requested, and that's why they'll want to keep me around."

  Judd Apatow

  Jobs, Writing, Night

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it will succeed.

  Judd Apatow

  Writing, Ideas, Scripts

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• [J.F Kennedy] was a congressman and a senator and he would go on to be president. I had that idea as a little boy, and I used to joke to people but nobody told me that his father was ambassador to England and that he was a war hero, and he was, you know.

  Mike Pence

  Father, War, Hero

  Source: www.dailyjournal.net

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• I've worked with a lot of people and I like to play with people when it's fun, and people that I have fun with independent of music, do you know what I mean? Where you can just joke and kid around, because you can joke and kid around with somebody and when you get in the pressure cooker of the studio then you can it's just something.

  Joe Louis Walker

  Fun, Kids, Independent

  Source: magazine.100percentrock.com

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• Comedy is what happens when you cross the dateline from the unbearable. Things become so unbearable they become a joke.

  Robyn Hitchcock

  Unbearable, Comedy, Crosses

  Source: www.washingtontimes.com

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• The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

  Dick Gregory

  Stuff, Knows

  "Talking to Dick Gregory: Comedy, Selma and Cosby". Interview with Christopher Borrelli, www.chicagotribune.com. April 10, 2015.

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• My own personal rule is to tell jokes that I think the person I'm making them about can laugh at, to go home and tell their family, oh, my gosh.

  Jeff Ross

  Home, Thinking, Laughing

  Source: www.npr.org

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• I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

  Jeff Ross

  I Can, My Own

  Source: www.npr.org

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• My best friend is disabled. There's nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That's the insult.

  Jeff Ross

  Hate, Kids, My Best Friend

  Source: www.npr.org

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• This word gets overused in describing actors but I think it applies to Mike [Tyson] in this case - he was totally fearless. He jumped in and played with us comedically and improvised a lot. A lot of jokes in those scenes with him are from him improvising.

  Ed Helms

  Thinking, Fearless, Actors

  Source: movies.about.com

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• The great joke is that a realist is an optimistic pessimist. That's very witty. Whether it's truthful or not, that I don't know.

  John Hurt

  Witty, Optimistic, Truthful

  Source: www.eyeforfilm.co.uk

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• The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can't say on television, then it evolved into social commentary.

  Jay Mohr

  Dirty, Talking, Perfect

  Source: underthegunreview.net

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• People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

  Jay Mohr

  People, One Liner, Bits

  Source: underthegunreview.net

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• You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.

  Jay Mohr

  Accusing Me, People, Thieves

  Source: underthegunreview.net

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• Kuwait - they live like kings. The poorest person in Kuwait, they live like kings. And yet, they're not paying. America makes it possible for them to sell their oil. Why aren't they paying us 25 percent of what they're making? It's a joke.

  Donald Trump

  Kings, Kuwait, Oil

  "Donald Trump Interview From Over 25 Years Ago On Running For President". Interview with Oprah Winfrey, lybio.net.

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• "My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.

  Gavin McInnes

  Perfect, Bait, Breastfeeding

  Source: thoughtcatalog.com

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