One Liner Quotes

• I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?

  David Foster Wallace

  One Line, Enough, Paranoid

  53 Copy quote

• I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

  Peter Kay

  Thinking, Animal, Ideas

  64 Copy quote

• Bacteria: The only culture some people have.

  Hesiod

  People, Culture, Bacteria

  31 Copy quote

• Hold a true friend with both your hands.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Friendship, Best Friend, True Friend

  55 Copy quote

• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

  Dan Chaon

  Hilarious, Peace, Tired

  Dan Chaon (2012). “Stay Awake: Stories”, p.59, Ballantine Books

  22 Copy quote

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• If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Inspiring, Success, Baseball

  142 Copy quote

• A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

  Walter Winchell

  Friendship, Sympathy, True Friend

  Walter Winchell (1975). “Winchell exclusive: "things that happened to me--and me to them”

  109 Copy quote

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• 

  A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Alan Harrington, Life in the Crystal Palace (1959).

  294 Copy quote

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• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Success, Clever

  81 Copy quote

• If you don t know where you are, a map won't help.

  Watts Humphrey

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  Watts S. Humphrey (1989). “Managing the Software Process”, Addison-Wesley Professional

  47 Copy quote

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• It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

  Jim Jarmusch

  Baseball, Funny Motivational, Goals Dreams

  "His Films, His Way: Jim Jarmusch Is Still Figuring Out How to Do It". Interview with Marc Savlov, www.austinchronicle.com. October 20, 2000.

  48 Copy quote

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

  435 Copy quote

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  113 Copy quote

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• 

  If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

  Yogi Berra

  Inspirational, Funny, Success

  "Yogi Berra, baseball Hall of Famer and New York Yankees catcher, dies at 90" by Alan Evans, www.theguardian.com. September 23, 2015.

  102 Copy quote

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• If you don't know where you're going any road will do

  Lewis Carroll

  Baseball, Travel, Goals Dreams

  60 Copy quote

• A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Baseball, Money

  Yogi Berra (1998). “The Yogi Book”, p.26, Workman Publishing

  31 Copy quote

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• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

  Steven Wright

  People, Support, Culture

  44 Copy quote

• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  111 Copy quote
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  The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.

  Jeff Miller

  Thanksgiving, Country, Gratitude

  61 Copy quote

• The idea of being a character who is kind of isolated, I can relate to that.

  Robin Williams

  Character, Ideas, One Line

  28 Copy quote

• I can't just say the words, do a lot of one-liners. I love each person I play; I have to be that person. I have to do him true.

  Richard Pryor

  True Love, Play, Persons

  79 Copy quote

• It gave dirty politics a bad name.

  Bob Hope

  Dirty, Names, One Line

  7 Copy quote

• The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.

  Richard Bach

  Lying, Lies We Tell Ourselves, Denial

  14 Copy quote

• I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Money, America

  88 Copy quote

• Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

  Camille Paglia

  Jesus, Comedian, Brilliant

  12 Copy quote