Jokes Quotes - Page 17

• I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come see me and then for an hour I tell jokes about being a little person. I just don't want that to happen. I understand that it's part of me, that's the first thing that you notice and it's something that people are curious about.

  Brad Williams

  People, Topics, Firsts

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• I don't know how to write jokes from the point of view of a six-foot-two guy. So, I'll always talk about it, but I just don't want it to be the absolute focus of all of my act.

  Brad Williams

  Writing, Two, Feet

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.

  Brad Williams

  Want

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."

  Brad Williams

  Should Have, Trying, Hamburgers

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

  Brad Williams

  People, Mad, Majority

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

  Brad Williams

  Clubs, Comedy, Happens

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, "That joke offended me," I'm still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.

  Brad Williams

  People, Black, Asian

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong. You should not talk about Indian people," and the Indian people are over in the audience like, "I thought that joke was hilarious." That is so weird. Then why are you getting mad? You're burning unnecessary calories. You're getting made for the sake of getting mad. I don't understand it.

  Brad Williams

  White, People, Mad

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.

  Brad Williams

  Thinking, Skills, Fit

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet or something that is at someone's expense - and those are my fine lines; obviously they're there - I want it to be something that's pretty much across the board we all as a society agree this is bad.

  Brad Williams

  Mean, Trying, Boards

  "Interview with comedian Brad Williams". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no. You know what it is? People are adults and they know they're at a comedy show but every once in a while somebody isn't an adult and then for some reason, you know, it's lazy reporting. They're trying to create this thing that isn't happening. It's not like people go in there and are just sitting with laptops open getting ready to blog about every stupid joke.

  Bill Burr

  Stupid, Talking, People

  Source: www.smudailycampus.com

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• I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

  Bill Burr

  Thinking, Trying, Like You

  "Interview with comedian Bill Burr". Interview with Riley Coven, www.smudailycampus.com. September 17, 2015.

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• Donald Trump is finding out what I found out: when you run for office, you are not allowed to tell a joke.

  Jesse Ventura

  Running, Office, Trump

  "Former governor Jesse Ventura talks about new books ‘Marijuana Manifesto’ and ‘Shit Politicians Say,’ plus much more". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was a joke, joke, joke," and I'd say it three times.

  Jesse Ventura

  Three, Governors, Ifs

  "Former governor Jesse Ventura talks about new books ‘Marijuana Manifesto’ and ‘Shit Politicians Say,’ plus much more". Interview with Michelle Tompkins, thecelebritycafe.com. September 1, 2016.

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• The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

  Chrissy Teigen

  Writing, Thinking, Trump

  Source: www.glamour.com

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• Self-indulgence takes many forms. A man may be self-indulgent in speech, in touch, in sight. From self-indulgence a man comes to idle speech and worldly talk, to buffoonery and cracking indecent jokes. There is self-indulgence in touching without necessity, making mocking signs with the hands, pushing for a place, snatching up something for oneself, approaching someone else shamelessly. All these things come from not having the fear of God in the soul and from these a man comes little by little to perfect contempt.

  Dorotheus of Gaza

  Christian, Men, Self

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• Friends are everything. They're people you can tell anything to, do fun stuff with, laugh at the same jokes with, who understand what you're going through 'cause they're going through it, too. Friends get it.

  Randi Reisfeld

  Friendship, Fun, People

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• For me, I'm a fan of really dark, depressing stuff. Even something like The Wire, which can be hugely depressing and really serious, the bits I always remember are the jokes, you know?

  Declan Shalvey

  Depressing, Dark, Wire

  Source: www.denofgeek.com

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• There's a great line by Joss Whedon: "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke." Even for a reader, there's only so much punishment they can take. You've got to give them a break here and there.

  Declan Shalvey

  Dark, Punishment, Giving

  Source: www.denofgeek.com

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• It would drive the photographers crazy because I would giggle and tell jokes. I was gregarious, and looking back, I realize I had a captive audience.

  Tracee Ellis Ross

  Crazy, Photographer, Realizing

  Source: www.marieclaire.com

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• I mean, this is a joke, to try to implicate me as like a friend of the Russians.

  Jill Stein

  Mean, Trying

  "Off Message" with Glenn Thrush, www.politico.com. September 19, 2016.

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• You know that old joke about potheads having bad memories? Well, the bad memories are like pain, discomfort, and fear. So you lose all that, and the body reacts by healing faster and stronger.

  Tommy Chong

  Memories, Pain, Healing

  Interview with Old Hippie, beyondchronic.com. June 30, 2016.

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• All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

  John Cleese

  Stupid, Mean, Humour

  "Interview: John Cleese and Eric Idle, founding members of Monty Python". Interview with Tony Jones, www.abc.net.au. February 18, 2016.

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• A lot of humour is about just enjoying life and spontaneity and because you make a joke that puts somebody down - we're always teasing each other. It's with affection. It's nasty teasing that we - not all teasing; nasty teasing you cut out.

  John Cleese

  Cutting, Enjoy Life, Nasty

  "Interview: John Cleese and Eric Idle, founding members of Monty Python". Interview with Tony Jones, www.abc.net.au. February 18, 2016.

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• I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.

  Phoebe Waller-Bridge

  Instinct, Happens

  Source: www.harpersbazaar.com

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