Funny Work Quotes - Page 3

• All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

  Aristotle

  Jobs, Business, Work

  "Politics". Book by Aristotle. Book VIII 1337b.5. "The Politics of Aristotle: Introduction and translation", Clarendon Press, 1885.

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• People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Work, Coffee

  7 Copy quote

• A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.

  Alan Davies

  Jobs, Interviews, Flip

  46 Copy quote

• I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

  Lily Tomlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Humor

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• If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  "Shakespeare, Woody Allen And A Certain Qantas A380" by Christine Negroni, www.huffingtonpost.com. April 23, 2012.

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• If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.

  Christopher Titus

  Philosophy, Philosophical, Racing

  11 Copy quote

• Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work.

  Daniel Handler

  Holiday, Talking, Labor Day

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• I've been promoted to middle management. I never thought I'd sink so low.

  Tim Gould

  Middle Management, Boss, Lows

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• Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Boss, Levels, Dignity

  43 Copy quote

• When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

  Helen Rowland

  Life, Hate, Work

  Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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• Most people like hard work, particularly when they're paying for it.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Leadership, Sports, Work

  17 Copy quote

• There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

  Scott Adams

  Marketing, Lines, Fine

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• Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

  Huey Long

  Funny, Work, Umpires

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• No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

  Damien Fahey

  Dream, Jobs, Dream Job

  Twitter post from Nov 29, 2011

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• The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay.

  Oscar Wilde

  Appreciation, Jobs, Office Work

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• A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to 35 and your job still requires you wear a nametag, you've probably made a serious vocational error.

  Dennis Miller

  Jobs, Errors, Thumbs

  11 Copy quote

• You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.

  Craig Ferguson

  Home, Guy, Faces

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• I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT

  Darynda Jones

  Funny, Birthday, Humorous

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.21, St. Martin's Press

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• The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

  Zig Ziglar

  Inspirational, Funny Motivational, Order

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• Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

  Kin Hubbard

  Fate, Destiny, Confusion

  24 Copy quote