Funny Work Quotes

• If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

  Dave Barry

  Life And Love, Business, Humor

  Dave Barry (1999). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Random House Digital, Inc.

  88 Copy quote

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• I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Work, Humorous

  Three Men in a Boat ch. 15 (1889)

  64 Copy quote

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• I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

  Charles Lamb

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  72 Copy quote

• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Firsts, Succeed

  54 Copy quote

• Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.

  Don Herold

  Work, Procrastination, Laughing

  Don Herold (1926). “There ought to be a law--”

  17 Copy quote

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• Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.

  Ed Bernard

  Friday, People, Wish

  45 Copy quote

• Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "The Graduation Speech I'd Give, if Anyone Asked" by Karina Bland, www.azcentral.com. June 03, 2015.

  336 Copy quote

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• I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.

  Rita Rudner

  Fun, Lying, Sick

  12 Copy quote

• When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

  Don Marquis

  Money, Work, Men

  Quoted in Edward Anthony, O Rare Don Marquis (1962)

  28 Copy quote

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• 

  It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  Inspirational, Funny, Positive

  148 Copy quote

• I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.

  Vince McMahon

  Funny, Retirement, Work

  41 Copy quote

• The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time.

  Joe Girard

  Inspirational, Motivational, Inspiring

  Joe Girard, Robert Casemore (1979). “How to Sell Yourself”, Simon & Schuster

  190 Copy quote

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• When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

  Rich Hall

  Funny, Witty, Work

  103 Copy quote

• No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Work, Men

  14 Copy quote
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  The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  93 Copy quote

• If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

  Scott Adams

  Ideas, Looks, Assassins

  25 Copy quote

• Work is against human nature.  The proof is that it makes us tired.

  Michel Tournier

  Work, Tired, Novelists

  64 Copy quote

• One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

  Bertrand Russell

  Success, Work, Stress

  Conquest of Happiness (1930) ch. 5

  96 Copy quote

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  The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

  Vince Lombardi

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  217 Copy quote

• If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

  Lane Kirkland

  Funny, Money, Hard Work

  61 Copy quote

• Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid working 40 hours a week.

  Lori Greiner

  Business, Work, Entrepreneur

  FaceBook post by Lori Greiner from Jan 06, 2014

  31 Copy quote

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• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

  Edgar Bergen

  Funny, Business, Work

  Quoted in Robert Byrne, The Other 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (1984) See Modern Proverbs 41

  14 Copy quote

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• They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.

  Joseph Addison

  Funny, Money, Work

  11 Copy quote
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  Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

  Sam Ewing

  Motivational, Success, Attitude

  130 Copy quote

• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Funny, Life, Motivational

  "An Enemy Called Average". Book by John L. Mason, 1990.

  374 Copy quote

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