Comedian Quotes - Page 39

• I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor.

  Eddie Murphy

  Thinking, Actors

  FaceBook post by Eddie Murphy from Jul 02, 2014

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• Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

  Greg Giraldo

  Lines, Crowds, Super Funny

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• Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Giving, Inspire

  "Jim Gaffigan talks Domino's, Law & Order, and having the gall to accept serious acting roles". Interview with Andy Seifert, www.avclub.com. January 28, 2010.

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• I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

  Jimmy Carr

  Writing, Class, Rude

  "The boy behind the man". Interview with Will Hodgkinson, www.theguardian.com. December 2, 2004.

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• There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

  Barry Humphries

  Taken, Fate, Terrible

  "My Life as Me: A Memoir". Book by Barry Humphries, 2002.

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• I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

  Jack Benny

  Hate, Believe, Honest

  TV Series "The Jack Benny Program", 1950.

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• My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant. When I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job, and our family had to do whatever we could to survive. I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

  Jim Carrey

  Letting Go, Jobs, Father

  "Jim Carrey's inspiring commencement speech" by Lisa Respers France, www.cnn.com. May 28, 2014.

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• You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you don't make the joke bigger than you. The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level.

  John Krasinski

  Emotional, Levels, Bigger

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• When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a different place every night.

  Jay Leno

  Night, Different, Tvs

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• What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.

  Buster Keaton

  Brother, Goats, Jokes

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• A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

  Buster Keaton

  Funny Things, Doe

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.

  Paul Rudd

  Too Much, Concern, Jokes

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Oh yeah, I'd love to be a comedian. I've done a lot, but always in the confines of plays.

  Michael Gambon

  Play, Done, Yeah

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

  Jamie Foxx

  Mean, Guy, Knows

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• I really loved what I was doing being creative and being funny as a stand-up comedian.

  Chris Tucker

  Creative, Being Funny, Be Creative

  "Chris Tucker wants to 'do something different'". Interview with Miki Turner, www.today.com. August 7, 2007.

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• It seems that a lot of people, who haven't known of me as a pianist, think I've just started off as a comedian. And so for them the piano was something extra. But, of course, playing the piano was something that came before all of what's happened now.

  Dudley Moore

  Thinking, Piano, People

  "Jazz Professional", Interview, 1966.

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• A comic says funny things. A comedian says things funny.

  Ed Wynn

  Funny Things, Comic

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• I'm not a comedian. I'm not a show host. I'm a musician. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy Awards and the American Music Awards. Is it really entertaining for me to get up there and crack a few weak jokes and force people to laugh because I'm Michael Jackson, when I know in my heart that I'm not funny?

  Michael Jackson

  Heart, Awards, People

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• I remember, when I was in university I studied history, and there was this one major historian of the Third Reich, Ian Kershaw. And his quote was, 'The path to Auschwitz was paved with indifference.' I know it's not very funny being a comedian talking about the Holocaust, but I think it's an interesting idea that not everyone in Germany had to be a raving anti-Semite. They just had to be apathetic.

  Sacha Baron Cohen

  Thinking, Talking, Ideas

  "The brilliance of Sacha Baron Cohen" by Harry Phibbs, www.theguardian.com. June 4, 2009.

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• I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.

  Paul Merton

  Thinking, Interesting, Viewpoints

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• I'm like the opposite of one of those comedians who's funny on stage and depressed behind closed doors . On record, I can get pretty dark, but in real life I'm very carefree. But when I'm happy, I ain't writing songs, I'm out having a laugh, being in love. I wouldn't have the time. If I ever get married, it'll be 'Darling, I need a divorce, it's been three years, I've got a record to write!'

  Adele

  Song, Real, Writing

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• Some performers are brilliant comedians, some are genius musicians, and some just make you happy to be alive. THE BOBS are all of that - and then some.

  Paul Provenza

  Genius, Alive, Bob

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• A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

  Jeff Dunham

  Filters, Needs, Audience

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians.

  Elvis Costello

  Drinking, Heart, Dawn

  Song: The Comedians, Album: Goodbye Cruel World, 1984

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• Wrangel pretended to combat the Bolsheviks, Bolshevism is Jewry. In order to retain the favor of the Jews holding the real power in England, France and the United States, Wrangel showed to the Jews signs of his submission to them. Thereafter the Russian masses abandoned Wrangel as a traitor or as a comedian. It is impossible simultaneously to be an auxiliary of the Jew and an enemy of the Bolsheviki who are Jews. Be it incoherence or treason, Wrangel deserved the same fate as Denikin and he got it.

  Boris Brasol

  Real, Fate, Order

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