Chelsea Handler Quotes About Fathers

Quotes about: Fathers

• Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that reads Shiloh. Maybe it’s not that weird. After all, he could be the father.

  Chelsea Handler

  Brother, Father, Suvs

• Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who is also naked, is chasing her with a bandanna around his neck, is reason to put yourself up for adoption.

  Chelsea Handler

  Mother, Kings, Father

  Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.2, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

• My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Children, Father

  Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.35, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

• My father has a high opinion of his opinion

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Father, Humor

• I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.

  Chelsea Handler

  Father, Alive, Want

• The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

  Chelsea Handler

  Father, Apology, People

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