Chelsea Handler Quotes About Babies

Quotes about: Babies

• Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Tattoo, Baby

• Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I’m in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can’t get up right away.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Turtles, Medicine

  Chelsea Handler (2009). “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”, p.215, Simon and Schuster

• Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Teens, Housekeeping

• I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Thinking, Giving

• No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Home, Going Away

• Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Paris, Mercury

• For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Rumor, Looks

• Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, People, Bigs

• Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Commitment, Years

• I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody can have one, OK? I could have had three if I had gone through with any of my pregnancies.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Pregnancy, People

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• email
• linkedin