Stephen Colbert Quotes About School

Quotes about: School

• Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

  Stephen Colbert

  Girl, School, Bangs

• it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.

  Stephen Colbert

  Home, School, Where You Are

  Twitter post from Aug 20, 2009

• I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

  Stephen Colbert

  Crush, Girl, Teacher

  Interview with Ken P., www.ign.com. August 11, 2003.

• First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.

  Stephen Colbert

  Weed, School, People

• I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn't have her own show.

  Stephen Colbert

  School, Safety, Criticism

• I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.

  Stephen Colbert

  School, Sunday, Teach

• So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They solve problems, such as how to get inner-city kids to spend $175 on shoes. They serve as a backdrop for some of our most memorable commercials. And they remain the one and only relevant application of math. Not only that, but we have sports to thank for most of the last century's advances in manliness. The system starts in school, where gym class separates the men from the boys. Then those men are taught to be winners, or at least, losers that hate themselves.

  Stephen Colbert

  Sports, Hate, Kids

• Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

  Stephen Colbert

  School, Kids, Community

• I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

  Stephen Colbert

  Teenager, School, Newspapers

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com.

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