Jokes Quotes - Page 28

• I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.

  Dave Chappelle

  Children, People, Want

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

  Dave Chappelle

  Thinking, Racism, People

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Religion, Tests, Childlike Faith

  "All Things Considered". Book by Gilbert K. Chesterton, 1908.

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• People try to put ownership on things: 'That's mine, that's my joke.' No such thing. Like if you tripped or stumbled and people go, 'Oh, that's Charlie Chaplin.' You know what I mean? You can't own a joke. You can be the guy that tells it the best, but you can't own a joke. Nowhere can you own a laugh.

  Tommy Chong

  Mean, People, Laughing

  FaceBook post by Tommy Chong from Jul 31, 2013

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• I live on a ranch in Texas and do my own thing. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. My joke is that the only people I'm trying to please are myself and my fans, because they're the ones buying my records. And I have the best, most loyal fan base ever.

  Kelly Clarkson

  Texas, People, Trying

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• When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

  John Cleese

  Years, Comedy, Forty

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• I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.

  J. Cole

  Teacher, Smart, Class

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• I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.

  Billy Connolly

  Offended You, Differences, People

  "Billy Connolly: 'My ambition is to be regarded as a nuisance'". Interview with Lisa O'Kelly, www.theguardian.com. March 24, 2012.

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• Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

  Dane Cook

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• The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he's broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it's not a joke anymore.

  Roald Dahl

  Laughter, Fall, Broken

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• There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.

  Larry David

  People, Way, Spontaneity

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• Sex is God's joke on human beings.

  Bette Davis

  Love, Life, Sexy

  Bette Davis (2017). “This 'n That”, p.43, Hachette UK

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• I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.

  Paula Deen

  Funny, Hater, Laughing

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• The joke in aviation is, 'If you want to make a million, you'd better start with £10m.'

  Bruce Dickinson

  Pounds, Want, Aviation

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• Have you ever heard a good joke? If you've ever heard someone just right, with the right pacing, then you're already on the way to poetry. It's about using words in very precise ways and using gesture.

  Rita Dove

  Gestures, Way, Using Words

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• I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.

  Patty Duke

  Funny Things, Manic, Outrageous

  Patty Duke (2010). “Brilliant Madness: Living with Manic Depressive Illness”, p.133, Bantam

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• I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some substance.

  Fred Durst

  Movie, Children, Years

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• Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke.

  Fred Durst

  Movie, Actors, Serious

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• Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of... revolutionary avant-gardism.

  Terry Eagleton

  Sick, Revolutionary, Modernism

  "Capitalism, Modernism, and Postmodernism". Essay by Terry Eagleton, 1985.

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• A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.

  Max Eastman

  Land, Play, Goal

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• A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

  Jenny Eclair

  Laughter, Fart, Beats

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• A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

  Zac Efron

  Girl, Like Her, Bad Jokes

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• Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

  T. S. Eliot

  People, Television, Entertainment

  "Anti-TV guerrillas wield their new zapper" by Owen Gibson, www.theguardian.com. April 25, 2005.

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• A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.

  Paul Feig

  Crazy, Fall, Character

  Interview with Scott Tobias, film.avclub.com. May 5, 2011.

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• The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.

  Paul Feig

  Mean, Winning, Awards

  "'Bridesmaids' Director Paul Feig Reveals How Twitter Saved His Movie and Why Awards Matter (Q&A)". Interview with Stacey Wilson Hunt, www.hollywoodreporter.com. November 22, 2011.

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