Jokes Quotes - Page 29

• I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.

  Jasper Fforde

  Book, Assuming, Academic

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• I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.

  Nathan Fillion

  Stolen

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• Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex - and especially, it seems, jokes about sex.

  Joshua Foer

  Sex, Memorable, Two

  Joshua Foer (2011). “Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything”, p.76, Penguin

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• I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

  Bruce Forsyth

  Banter, Ads, Can Do

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• When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.

  Megan Fox

  Children, School, Kids

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• If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.

  Michael J. Fox

  Couple, Hard Times, People

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• For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

  Al Franken

  Years, Offensive, Appropriate

  "Franken helps craft McCain 'SNL' skit" by Josh Kraushaar, Jonathan Martin, www.politico.com. September 20, 2008.

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• There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.

  Neil Gaiman

  Stories, Literature, Comedy

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• The only people who live in a post-black world are four people who live in a little white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. The idea that America is post-racial or post-black because a man I admire, Barack Obama, is president of the United States, is a joke. And I hope no one will even wonder about this crazy fiction again.

  Henry Louis Gates

  Crazy, Men, Ideas

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• It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.

  Martha Gellhorn

  Imagination, Bitterness, Would Be

  "Gellhorn: A Twentieth Century Life". Book by Caroline Moorehead, 2003.

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• Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.

  Oliver Goldsmith

  Art, Salt, Harm

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• There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Thinking, Want, Certain

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• Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.

  Baltasar Gracian

  Teacher, Teaching, Humor

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• I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

  Kathy Griffin

  Cancer, Apologizing, Chemotherapy

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• I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

  Kathy Griffin

  Artist, People, Laughing

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• Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

  Matt Groening

  People, Appreciate

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• Our solution on 'The Simpsons' is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don't, it doesn't matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, 'D'oh!'

  Matt Groening

  People, Matter, Banging

  "Homer's last stand" by Oliver Burkeman, www.theguardian.com. May 1, 2002.

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• I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case.

  Matt Groening

  Dad, Family Guy, Thinking

  Interview With Nathan Rabin, tv.avclub.com. April 26, 2006.

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• My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

  Cathy Guisewite

  Dog, Thinking, Secret

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• All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way.

  Sammy Hagar

  Way, Different, Would Be

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• On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light.

  Michael Haneke

  Light, Trying, Soup

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• But television, when I was doing it, was all about scoring. You had to make these jokes bang, do whatever you could to make the material really pop. And if it didn't, there was something wrong with the material, or with you.

  Tom Hanks

  Bangs, Television, Pops

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• With the Tonys it's a little tricky because a lot of the funnier jokes are more insider, so people watching at home may not get a Julie Taymor reference the way that New Yorkers would. So you have to figure out what comedy plays to a large audience and still respect the individuals who are there.

  Neil Patrick Harris

  Home, Play, People

  "Tonys 2012: Q&A with Neil Patrick Harris on Eve of His Hosting Three-peat". Interview with David Rooney, www.hollywoodreporter.com. June 6, 2012.

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• My greatest regret as a writer is that I've never been able to include as many jokes as I'd like.

  Robert Harris

  Regret, Able

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• People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.

  Steve Harvey

  Heart, Ideas, People

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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