Hey Quotes - Page 15

• I can see it now: Osama bin Laden goes up to the pearly gates where George Washington comes out, starts beating him and is then joined by 70 other members of the Continental Congress. Osama will say, Hey, wait! Where are my 71 virgins? And George will reply It's 71 Virginians, you asshole!

  Robin Williams

  Waiting, Osama Bin Laden, Congress

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• Climate change is a real deal. So, hey deniers - cut it out, and let's get to work.

  Bill Nye

  Real, Cutting, Climate

  "Commencement Speech: Bill Nye the Science Guy". my.umbc.edu. May 20, 2015.

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• Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost? And he says, What ghost?"

  Chris Rock

  Guy, Comedian, Different

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw?

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Morning, Cat, Night

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• How can you do the moonwalk and ask a woman to dance? Hey baby lets dance... cya later!

  Eddie Murphy

  Baby, Asks

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• Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if the government forbids gay men from tying the knot, what is their alternative? They can`t all marry Liza Minnelli.

  Bill Maher

  School, Gay, Men

  Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.158, Rodale

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• I want to do something that people can really say, 'Hey, man, that was good, I'm proud of you, I'm proud of that.' 'Pride' and 'Transformers' and things like that.

  Bernie Mac

  Pride, Men, People

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• By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.

  Paul Reiser

  Stupid, Names, Doe

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• The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same. Take people off the street, 'Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! I don't wanna be in the luge!' Once you put that helmet on them, 'You're in the luge, buddy!' 'aaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAA... aaaAAAAA...' World record. Didn't even wanna do it. I'd like to see that next Olympics, the Involuntary Luge.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  People, Olympics, Next

  "I'm Telling You for the Last Time". Stand-up comedy, 1998.

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• I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Mother, Mirrors, Guy

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• I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

  Demetri Martin

  Secret, None Of Your Business, Ask Me

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• Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Guy, Fortune Cookie, Cookies

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• Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of Not this again, and Hey, where did you learn that?

  Emo Philips

  Sex, Overcoming, Impossible

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• I don't care who wins because I go to sporting events to scream. It's the one place on the planet you can shout anything you want. You can bellow at will, and nobody will bother you. I yell things like, 'My life sucks! Dan Quayle is a schmuck! If I don't have sex soon, I'm going to explode!' Parents turn to their kids as I leave the stadium and go, 'Hey, there goes a great fan.

  Lewis Black

  Sex, Kids, Winning

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• She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

  Aziz Ansari

  Crazy, Men, People

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". Parks and Recreation, 2009–2015.

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• I had one job that was kind of cop-like. One summer I did security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day, Hey, hey, excuse me sir. Get your putter out of the whale's ass. Come on, this is a place of miniature business. This is not a playground even though it looks like a playground.

  Dane Cook

  Summer, Jobs, Golf

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• Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?

  Dane Cook

  Fighting, Games, Play

  FaceBook post by Dane Cook from Sep 04, 2014

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• Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Baby, Sweet, Men

  "You Might Be a Redneck If…". Comedy album by Jeff Foxworthy, 1993.

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• You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Mouths, Might

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• People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  People, Pieces, Paper

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• People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps... sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?

  Bill Hicks

  Self Esteem, War, Feel Better

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• I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!"

  Bill Hicks

  Mean, Usa, Iraq

  "Bill Hicks: Relentless". Documentary, Comedy, 1992.

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• If you like strange, specific stuff - that's a nerd. Kanye West is a black nerd. He likes strange, specific stuff. If you go up to Kanye West and say, 'Hey, what are your favorite things?' He'll be like, 'Robots and teddy bears.' That's a nerd.

  Donald Glover

  Black, Nerd, Robots

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• I grew up doing theater, so I'm used to working with people where you can definitely ask another person a question or advice or say, "Hey, let's try it this way," or "What do you think if I did it this way?"

  Fiona Gubelmann

  Thinking, People, Advice

  "Fiona Gubelmann Interview WILFRED". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. July 16, 2011.

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• I think it's good for the fans, as well, because they get to connect with you directly. You know, in the old days, if I wanted to, like, write to (Steven) Spielberg or Sam Raimi or whatever, I'm not sure I could actually write a fan mail and (I'd) have no idea where to actually send it. Nowadays, you can just, like, follow Ashton (Kutcher who still has among the most followers on Twitter) or, like, friend someone, you know, on Facebook, and you can actually just say, "Hey, I like your stuff."

  James Wan

  I Like You, Writing, Thinking

  Source: collider.com

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