Comedian Quotes - Page 17

• I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.

  Bo Burnham

  Fall, Miscarriage, Men

  Source: www.popmatters.com

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• The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.

  Ron White

  Strong, Odds, People

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

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• I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and wonderful music, and there were plays. I used to pass time with radio.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Home, School, Play

  Kurt Vonnegut (2011). “Kurt Vonnegut: The Last Interview: And Other Conversations”, p.138, Melville House

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• Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. "You might have seen this next comedian at the store," and people would say "Hell yes I have!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

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• As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes. You're all happy at first, but then by the end, you're sick of 'em.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Strong, Humor

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• I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Vegas

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• When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Writing, Humor

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• You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.

  Chris Rock

  Believe, Law, Faults

  Source: www.rollingstone.com

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• A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head.

  Chris Rock

  Lonely, Comedy, Entourage

  Source: www.rollingstone.com

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• There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking about what they see. But we seldom talk about what we feel.

  Chris Rock

  Talking, Play, People

  Source: www.rollingstone.com

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• I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in the news business, by the way. He was a radio news guy. So the news was always in my house, and funny was always in my house. It was sort of just baked into the DNA that I would do this for a living, but I can remember being less than 10 years old and dreaming about being a comedian.

  Bill Maher

  Dream, Father, Kids

  Source: www.usatoday.com

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• I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

  George Carlin

  Guy, Age, Golden

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

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• I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

  George Carlin

  Guy, Mind, Actors

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

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• I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.

  George Carlin

  Solitude, Hanging Out

  Source: www.psychologytoday.com

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• Some comedians really are funnier than others. Some people really are more beautiful than others. But these are true only because of the kinds of creatures we happen to be; the perceptual apparatus - apparati - that we happen to have.

  Jonathan Haidt

  Beautiful, People, Kind

  Interview with Tamler Sommers, www.believermag.com. August 2005.

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• I considered myself a professional comedian because the club would pay me $20.

  Tom Green

  Clubs, Pay

  Source: radiotvtalk.blog.ajc.com

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• For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Creative, Television

  "Jim Gaffigan Talks to Brian Regan About Hating Being Called a 'Clean' Comedian, Resisting Hollywood, and Playing Big Venues". Interview with Jim Gaffigan, www.vulture.com. September 23, 2015.

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• The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Ideas, Giving, Creative

  "Jim Gaffigan Talks to Brian Regan About Hating Being Called a 'Clean' Comedian, Resisting Hollywood, and Playing Big Venues". Interview with Jim Gaffigan, www.vulture.com. September 23, 2015.

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• I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Stars, Successful, Thinking

  Source: www.vulture.com

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• The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Real, Night

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• Everyone goes "every comedian does Arnold Schwarzenegger". Yes, they do; but do they do Arnold Schwarzenegger in Brokeback Mountain?

  Pablo Francisco

  Brokeback Mountain, Doe, Schwarzenegger

  Source: rocksucker.co.uk

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• When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.

  Woody Allen

  Beautiful, Morning, Artist

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• You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.

  Woody Allen

  Hero, Way, Lifetime

  "Curse of the Jade Scorpion, The : Interview With Woody Allen". Cinema.com Interview, cinema.com.

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• I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.

  Woody Allen

  Ideas, Next, Serious

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• Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world.

  Trevor Noah

  World, Comedy, Crowded

  Source: variety.com

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