Comedian Quotes - Page 14

• A lot of comedians today have misunderstood the concept of a subversive comedian. If you really want to be subversive, you have to please and offend in equal amounts.

  Chilly Gonzales

  Misunderstood, Today, Equal

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• I think art is beautiful. It's decoration and adornment. But art is also a really important vessel for social change, and social change begins with thought. And so if you can find humor in something and take a moment to rethink it, you can take a step back and look at your values from a different angle. I think that's a really important way of carrying on with life. I think the best art for me is funny and the best comedy for me is art. Some of my favorite artists are comedians. Comedy is art, and art can be comedy, and the intersection is vital - at least for my own work.

  Chloe Wise

  Beautiful, Art, Thinking

  Source: www.elle.com

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• When I'm traveling a lot the flight attendants will ask what I do and if I say I'm a magician then I have to do a trick. But if it's a red eye flight and I haven't slept at all, I'll say I'm a comedian. And then they say, "Do a joke." But if you're a magician you should be able to do a trick anywhere, any time of day. And if it's not the best situation to showcase what I do then I'll offer them tickets to my show that night. Trying to do a magic trick right outside of an airplane lavatory isn't the best viewing conditions.

  Justin Willman

  Airplane, Eye, Night

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• People have all these preconceived notions about magicians, like that they're lonely and bitter or they're socially awkward people. I don't know what magician hurt all these people, but I'm constantly having to overcome all these stereotypes. So, no. I'm sure there are just as many magicians who are lonely and bitter as there are comedians, lawyers, or any profession.

  Justin Willman

  Lonely, Hurt, People

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Life, Smile

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

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• But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi.

  Douglas Adams

  Girl, Rain, Weather

  Douglas Adams (2009). “Mostly Harmless”, p.175, Pan Macmillan

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• I've often heard it said a preacher might learn with a comedian for a teacher.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Teacher, Might, Said

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1872). “Faust: A Tragedy”, p.21

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• I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Motivational, Im Sorry

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• Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

  Nicholas Sparks

  Two, Doe, Taste

  Twitter post from Jun 03, 2013

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• Because they're probably long gone. Are you hurt?" Gabe asked with enough urgency that she realized he must have felt shiver in delayed reaction to the hole in the door. "No. No, I'm okay. What a about you? Are you hurt?" "Only if you count the fact that you damned near ripped off my plumbing groping around for my phone." She made a sound of exasperation. "Now? You pick now to become a comedian?" "It's all about timing," he whispered back.

  Cindy Gerard

  Hurt, Phones, Doors

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• In the most basic terms it was about how when we experience art without critical awareness we consent to the ideas being promoted, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the filmmaker. For instance, if you watch a racist comedian and laugh at his jokes, you are consenting to the prejudices inherent within them. Similarly, if you watch a movie which perpetuates conventional ideas about race, gender, etc., you are consenting to them and not affecting change in any way.

  Simon Pegg

  Art, Race, Ideas

  Simon Pegg (2010). “Nerd Do Well”, p.126, Random House

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• Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Self Esteem, Humorous

  George Carlin (2001). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Stupid People

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

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• You’re so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn’t work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Hair, Color, Work Out

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2013). “Inferno: Chronicles of Nick”, p.62, Macmillan

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• I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'

  Bruce Baum

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Education, Humor, People

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• Physics is very muddled again at the moment; it is much too hard for me anyway, and I wish I were a movie comedian or something like that and had never heard anything about physics!

  Wolfgang Pauli

  Science, Wish, Hearing

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• You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

  George Carlin

  Stupid, Fighting, Blow

  George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.81, Hachette UK

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• One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Stupid, Pregnancy

  "It's Bad for Ya". Comedy album by George Carlin, 2008.

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• I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say my mom. Apart from the fact that she's my mother, she's a brilliant comedian and a force as a producer. She paved the way for women to produce and star in their own films, and to balance that with being the matriarch of our family is really inspiring.

  Kate Hudson

  Mom, Mother, Stars

  "Our Own Private Hollywood". Elle Interview, www.elle.com. October 7, 2010.

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• I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

  Joan Rivers

  Memorable, Alzheimer's, Might

  Twitter post from Jul 02, 2014

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• I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Inspirational, Oysters, Voice

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• I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

  Richard Jeni

  Funny, New York, Thinking

  "A few words from Richard Jeni". www.cnn.com. March 12, 2007.

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• In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

  Warren Hutcherson

  Funny, School, Humor

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