Fred Allen Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Technology

  9 Copy quote

• Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

  Fred Allen

  Witty, Powerful, Humorous

  Quoted in Newsweek, 14 Jan. 1980

  8 Copy quote

• The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

  Fred Allen

  Love, Funny, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

  Fred Allen

  Sarcastic, Skins, Waste

  9 Copy quote

• There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

  Fred Allen

  Two, Kind, Funny Jokes

  8 Copy quote

• Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Long

  "The guy who brought The Beatles to America" by Bob Greene, www.cnn.com. February 9, 2014.

  78 Copy quote

• After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

  Fred Allen

  Money, Aspirin, Radio

  11 Copy quote

• On ships they call them barnacles; in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

  Fred Allen

  President, Ships, Vices

  17 Copy quote

• A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.

  Fred Allen

  Talking, Comedian, Audience

  Fred Allen (2016). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.14, Pickle Partners Publishing

  5 Copy quote

• Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

  Fred Allen

  Art, Orange, Hollywood

  5 Copy quote

• Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Success, Teaching

  8 Copy quote

• If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Race

  10 Copy quote

• She used to be a teacher but she has no class now.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Teacher, Humor

  5 Copy quote

• All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

  Fred Allen

  Humor, Conversation, Fire Escapes

  14 Copy quote

• Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

  Fred Allen

  Art, Two, Gnats

  57 Copy quote

• Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

  Fred Allen

  Life, Men, Objectivity

  8 Copy quote

• It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.

  Fred Allen

  Love, Stay Strong, Goal

  54 Copy quote

• My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.

  Fred Allen

  Agents, Headache, Percent

  6 Copy quote

• English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

  Fred Allen

  Coffee, Water, Taste

  Fred Allen (2009). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.167, Wildside Press LLC

  9 Copy quote

• Three million frogs' legs are served in Paris - daily. Nobody knows what became of the rest of the frogs.

  Fred Allen

  Food, Paris, Cooking

  5 Copy quote

• A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Work, Humor

  Treadmill to Oblivion pt. 2 (1954)

  7 Copy quote

• Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, New York, Humor

  6 Copy quote

• An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

  Fred Allen

  Life, Success, Congratulations

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.215, Wildside Press LLC

  8 Copy quote

• My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

  Fred Allen

  Uncles, Southern, Alabama

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.102, Wildside Press LLC

  7 Copy quote

• I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Play

  13 Copy quote

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