Fred Allen Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Stars, Humor

  48 Copy quote

• In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.

  Fred Allen

  Promise, Shows, Show Business

  6 Copy quote

• He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.

  Fred Allen

  Anger, Use, Argument

  Fred Allen (2016). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.134, Pickle Partners Publishing

  4 Copy quote

• I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Letter to Groucho Marx, 12 June 1953

  9 Copy quote

• The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four

  Fred Allen

  Girl, Home, Maturity

  8 Copy quote

• I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Family, Witty

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.200, Wildside Press LLC

  17 Copy quote

• I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Death, Humor

  18 Copy quote

• My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Children, Father

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.200, Wildside Press LLC

  10 Copy quote

• California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Laughter, California

  American Magazine Dec. 1945, p. 120

  16 Copy quote

• Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

  Fred Allen

  Party, Men, People

  57 Copy quote

• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

  Fred Allen

  Graduation, Education, Laughter

  84 Copy quote

• The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Agency

  13 Copy quote

• During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Sunday Observer; Brass Hat In Hand" by Russell Baker, www.nytimes.com. April 17, 1983.

  11 Copy quote

• An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

  Fred Allen

  Business, Agency, Confusion

  24 Copy quote

• Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

  Fred Allen

  Food, Cooking, Littles

  Fred Allen (2008). “Much Ado About Me”, p.200, Wildside Press LLC

  14 Copy quote

• He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

  Fred Allen

  Sarcastic, Eye, Blind

  8 Copy quote

• Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

  Fred Allen

  Done, Radio, Mediums

  9 Copy quote

• The world is a grindstone and life is your nose

  Fred Allen

  Life, Noses, World

  20 Copy quote

• The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Humor, Men

  8 Copy quote

• Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

  Fred Allen

  Sarcastic, Men, Should

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  11 Copy quote

• I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

  Fred Allen

  Men, Doctors, Boston

  5 Copy quote

• All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Laughter, Humor

  Fred Allen (2009). “Treadmill to Oblivion”, p.240, Wildside Press LLC

  9 Copy quote

• An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Art, Humor

  13 Copy quote

• A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

  Fred Allen

  Funny, Men, Gentleman

  11 Copy quote

• What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  85 Copy quote

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