Jack Paar Quotes

• Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

  Jack Paar

  Race, Long, Obstacles

  "I Kid You Not".

  53 Copy quote

• Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

  Jack Paar

  Immigration, Definitions, Flattery

  30 Copy quote

• I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

  Jack Paar

  Mind, Television, Program

  21 Copy quote

• Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

  Jack Paar

  Fun, Vaccines, People

  JACK PAAR (1965). “THREE ON A RUSH”

  11 Copy quote

• To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

  Jack Paar

  Reality, Thinking, Should Have

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  7 Copy quote

• It's almost impossible to dislike me, because I do nothing.

  Jack Paar

  Dislike Me, Impossible, Dislike

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  14 Copy quote

• As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.

  Jack Paar

  Long, Looks, Obstacles

  14 Copy quote

• Doing the show was like painting the George Washington Bridge. As soon as you finished one end, you started right in on the other.

  Jack Paar

  Bridges, Painting, Ends

  15 Copy quote

• Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, God, Humorous

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  12 Copy quote

• Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Nice, California

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  11 Copy quote

• I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split; it's shredded.

  Jack Paar

  Lonely, Personality, Loyal

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  14 Copy quote

• We were ensconced as guests of the exclusive Beverly Hilton Hotel, an edifice so swank that the fire ax in the hall outside our suite said: "In case of fire-break crystal."

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Fire, California

  7 Copy quote

• The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Humor, Oscars

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  5 Copy quote

• As I was saying before I was interrupted ... I believe the last thing I said was 'There must be a better way to make a living than this.' Well, I've looked - and there isn't.

  Jack Paar

  Believe, Way, Lasts

  7 Copy quote

• Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!

  Jack Paar

  Kids, People, Interesting

  9 Copy quote

• She should get a divorce and settle down.

  Jack Paar

  Sarcastic, Divorce, Settling

  11 Copy quote

• Personally, I like those mystery shows. Ever since I was a kid I've been crazy about blood and detectives and murder. Maybe I was born with a silver knife in my back.

  Jack Paar

  Crazy, Kids, Blood

  6 Copy quote

• ... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Two, California

  8 Copy quote

• The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Real, Breathing

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  9 Copy quote

• It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, California, Hollywood

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  8 Copy quote

• Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Believe, Humor

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  13 Copy quote

• I'm not saying these flying discs don't really exist, but nobody living in Kansas City has seen them and that's a dry state.

  Jack Paar

  Cities, Kansas City, Flying

  7 Copy quote

• Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Hurt, Fall

  JACK PAAR (1960). “I KID YOU NOT”

  7 Copy quote

• In an interview Errol Flynn said that his hobby was acting but he doesn't have time for it.

  Jack Paar

  Acting, Hobbies, Interviews

  6 Copy quote

• Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.

  Jack Paar

  Funny, Book, Son

  4 Copy quote

You May Also Like:

Johnny Carson

Steve Allen

Jonathan Winters

Jack Benny

Jay Leno

Dick Cavett

David Letterman

Don Rickles