Waiter Quotes - Page 2

• When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

  Andy Rooney

  Sarcastic, Sarcasm, Peppers

  "Eating Out With Andy Rooney; With Every Course, an Opinion" by Bryan Miller, www.nytimes.com. October 04, 1989.

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• A man needs to be polite, not just to me but to everyone. I watch that. How does he treat the waiter? How does he treat the coat-check girl? How does he treat the driver?

  Adriana Lima

  Girl, Men, Coats

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• My indifference to money and my spendthrift ways are disgraceful. You have no idea how reckless I am; how often I practically throw money out of the window. I am always making good resolutions, but the next minute I forget and give the waiter eightpence.

  Robert Schumann

  Ideas, Giving, Way

  Robert Schumann (1907). “The Letters of Robert Schumann”

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• All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.

  Jay Leno

  Waitress, Situation, Turns

  "Seinfeld, Cosby Stand Up for Twin Towers Fund", abcnews.go.com.

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• Enchantment can be done with writing but I think enchantment is basically a prospective or an operating system for life. That you can enchant a person who is assigning your airplane seat, your hotel room, your waiter, your waitress.

  Guy Kawasaki

  Writing, Airplane, Thinking

  "Guy Kawasaki Interview on His Latest Book - APE". Interview with helen Nesterenko, writtent.com. January 11, 2013.

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• A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who's allowed to sit down occasionally.

  Peter Ustinov

  Diplomats, These Days, Diplomacy

  "Romanoff and Juliet".

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• To go to the Oscars for 'Moneyball' - that was pretty amazing.

  Chris Pratt

  Oscars

  "Dumb Luck". Interview with Logan Hill, www.gq.com. April 26, 2012.

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• I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

  Oscar Wilde

  Switzerland, Theologian

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”, p.136, Wordsworth Editions

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• I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Cheese Sandwiches

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• The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

  Erma Bombeck

  Baby, Children, Food

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• My father was a waiter basically, and when I got my first professional job as an actor, I left a job that he found me for half the amount of money. So anyone would think that they're stupid, that that would be a stupid move.

  Alfred Molina

  Jobs, Stupid, Father

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• The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

  Robert Morley

  Long, Tourism, Tourists

  "Death of Baron De Kalb" by Benjamin Franklin Ells, 1849.

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• Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter be a little less than a waiter to be a good Bohemian?

  Djuna Barnes

  Littles, Bohemian, Wells

  Djuna Barnes (2016). “Vivid and Repulsive as the Truth: The Early Works of Djuna Barnes”, p.69, Courier Dover Publications

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• Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Waiting Rooms

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• A critic at best is a waiter at the great table of literature.

  Louis Dudek

  Literature, Tables, Critics

  Louis Dudek (1992). “Paradise: Essays on Myth, Art & Reality”, Vehicule Press

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• I'm an assistant storyteller. It's like being a waiter or a gas-station attendant, but I'm waiting on six million people a week, if I'm lucky.

  Jane Fonda

  People, Waiting, Gas Stations

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• Feeling prosperous means paying your utility bills on time and with a smile on your face. Prosperity means not only giving to the homeless person, but having a smile on your face when you do it. Prosperity also means buying fresh produce with a smile on your face instead of buying day-old bread or bargain overripe fruit with a scowl on your face. Still more, being prosperous means tipping generously with a smile on your face when the waiter has given you great service instead of trying to stiff him with a mere percent, or worse, no tip at all.

  Ernie J Zelinski

  Mean, Giving, Feelings

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• With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Birthday, Men, Wife

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.34, Zondervan

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• I hate it when people are impolite to waiters or to the valet or the guy in the supermarket. There's no need for that; it doesn't cost anything to be polite.

  Ashley Madekwe

  Hate, People, Guy

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Leave the table while you still feel you could eat a little more.

  Helena Rubinstein

  Tables, Littles, Feels

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• It was a pleasant cafe, warm and clean and friendly, and I hung up my old water-proof on the coat rack to dry and put my worn and weathered felt hat on the rack above the bench and ordered a cafe au lait. The waiter brought it and I took out a notebook from the pocket of the coat and a pencil and started to write.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Notebook, Coffee, Writing

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• I'm like a waiter and you something like a hater with trays in both hands, place an order I can cater.

  Drake

  Hate, Hands, Order

  Song: City is Mine

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• I was specifically referring to the regular everyday people that you come across on your come up. You never know if that intern that you disrespected might end up being the CEO of the company one day, you honestly never know who's who. It's easy to treat the stars and the executives with respect but how do you treat the security guards or the waiter that serves your food? You may have to cross that bridge later.

  Charlamagne Tha God

  People, Everyday, One Day

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• Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Jobs, Gun, Mouths

  Chuck Palahniuk (2005). “Fight Club: A Novel”, p.11, W. W. Norton & Company

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• Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them.

  Bernie Ecclestone

  Want

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