Waiter Quotes

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  A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Motivational, Respect

  Dave Barry (1998). “Dave Barry Turns 50”, Crown

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• ...the waiters carried themselves with a quiet joy, as if their entire mission in life was to make their customers feel comfortable and well tended.

  Julia Child

  Joy, Quiet, Missions

  Julia Child, Alex Prud'homme (2006). “My Life in France”, p.17, Anchor

  4 Copy quote

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• I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food

  Zach Galifianakis

  Feelings, Arriving, Imagine

  8 Copy quote

• When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day.

  Robert Herjavec

  Being The Best, Wanted

  "Ask an Expert: 'Shark Tank' judge on being an entrepreneur". Interview with Steve Strauss, www.usatoday.com. February 24, 2012.

  14 Copy quote

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• When you find a waiter who is a waiter and not an actor, writer, musician or poet, you've found a jewel.

  Andre Soltner

  Food, Jewels, Cooking

  11 Copy quote

• The best number for a dinner party is two; myself and a damn good head waiter.

  Nubar Gulbenkian

  Party, Food, Two

  17 Copy quote

• How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

  Austin Butler

  Treats, Persons

  "Austin Butler, ‘Carrie Diaries’ Star: ‘I Was Rebellious And A Mess Of A Person’" by Erin Clements, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 1, 2013.

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• I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

  Phyllis Diller

  Food, Three, Milk

  14 Copy quote

• If you wait for inspiration to write you're not a writer, you're a waiter.

  Dan Poynter

  Inspiration, Writing, Waiting

  55 Copy quote

• It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.

  Don Herold

  Life, Serious, Good Things

  Don Herold (1930). “Strange Bedfellows: My Crazy-quilt Memoirs, Life-maxims and What-not”

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• Waiters will always pee in soup, people will always fall in love.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Falling In Love, People, Soup

  6 Copy quote

• A real litmus test for me is how people treat someone who is waiting on them. That's a dealbreaker for me.If I were on the verge of getting into a serious relationship and I saw that person be mean to a waiter... I'm out.

  Steven Soderbergh

  Real, Mean, People

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Humor, Caring

  7 Copy quote

• I have tipped waiters, and I have been tipped by waiters.

  George Orwell

  Has Beens

  George Orwell (2012). “Down and Out in Paris and London”, p.17, Lulu.com

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• God finally caught his eye.

  George S. Kaufman

  Eye, His Eyes, Caught

  55 Copy quote

• We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

  Eddie Izzard

  Hunters, Has Beens

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• For we have come by different ways to this place... I can tell by the natural ease with which you wear fine clothes and the way your mouth moves when you speak with waiters in good restaurants. You have come the way of castles and cathedrals, of elegance and empire.

  Robert James Waller

  Karma, Moving, Clothes

  16 Copy quote

• But he could not taste, he could not feel. In the teashop among the tables and the chattering waiters the appalling fear came over him- he could not feel. He could reason; he could read, Dante for example, quite easily…he could add up his bill; his brain was perfect; it must be the fault of the world then- that he could not feel.

  Virginia Woolf

  Perfect, Brain, Example

  Virginia Woolf (2012). “Mrs. Dalloway - Broadview Edition”, p.88, Broadview Press

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• A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.

  Morey Amsterdam

  Funny, Humor, Order

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.

  Bill Bryson

  Home, Phones, House

  1989 The Lost Continent, ch.2.

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• When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

  Henny Youngman

  Giving, Tables, Restaurants

  23 Copy quote

• The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion.

  Douglas Adams

  Eyebrows, Confusion, Littles

  Douglas Adams (2012). “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five”, p.235, Pan Macmillan

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• I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.

  Nigella Lawson

  Wine, Literature, Taste

  40 Copy quote

• I have a terrible weakness for collecting snatches of other people's conversations, and occasionally I'm rewarded with unusual fragments of knowledge. My favorite of the day came from a large but shapely woman sitting nearby whom I learned was the owner of a local lingerie shop. 'Beh oui,' she said to her companion, waving her spoon for emphasis, 'il faut du temps pour la corsetterie.' You can't argue with that. I made a mental note not to rush things next time I was shopping for a corset, and leaned back to allow the waiter through with the next course.

  Peter Mayle

  Shopping, People, Sitting

  FaceBook post by Peter Mayle from Nov 26, 2011

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• I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Humor, Octopus

  22 Copy quote