Funny Marriage Quotes - Page 2

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  In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

  Robert Anderson

  Love, Inspirational, Anniversary

  62 Copy quote

• It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

  Robert Frost

  Marriage, Funny Love, Wedding

  26 Copy quote

• Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

  H. L. Mencken

  Marriage, Devil, Ransom

  A Little Book in C Major ch. 6 (1916)

  29 Copy quote

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• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

  Henny Youngman

  Anniversary, Husband, Inspiration

  "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America". Book by Lawrence J. Epstein, 2001.

  33 Copy quote

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• We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

  Henny Youngman

  Done, Married

  11 Copy quote

• As husbands, I think one reason we have some trouble with Paul's command to love our wives "as Christ loved the church," is that we don't really fully know how Christ loves the church.

  Scott Means

  Love, Family, Marriage

  11 Copy quote

• No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

  H. L. Mencken

  Marriage, Men, Scotch Whisky

  28 Copy quote

• A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

  Andre Maurois

  Love, Happiness, Anniversary

  47 Copy quote
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  There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

  Homer

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  Homer (1983). “The Odyssey”, Outlet

  78 Copy quote

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• A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  In Newsweek 28 Mar. 1960, p. 89

  178 Copy quote

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• Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  H.L. Mencken “A little book in C major”, Рипол Классик

  26 Copy quote

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• Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

  Albert Einstein

  Change, Marriage, Valentines Day

  82 Copy quote
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  A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.32, BookBaby

  152 Copy quote

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• Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  Mark Twain (2017). “The Complete Works of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, Life on the Mississippi, Yankee in King Arthur's Court…”, p.8291, e-artnow

  62 Copy quote

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• Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

  Irwin Corey

  Marriage, Wedding, Best Love

  114 Copy quote

• My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Love, Funny, Life

  "Rodney Dangerfield" by Ronald Bergan, www.theguardian.com. October 6, 2004.

  45 Copy quote

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• Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Cute, Marriage, Funny Love

  26 Copy quote

• The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

  Peter De Vries

  Relationship, Anniversary, Marriage

  19 Copy quote

• Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

  Richard Pryor

  Marriage, Funny Love, Love You

  Quoted in Robert Byrne, The Third and Possibly the Best 637 Things Anybody Ever Said (1986)

  54 Copy quote

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• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Relationship, Marriage

  31 Copy quote

• Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

  Phyllis Diller

  Inspirational, Birthday, Anniversary

  116 Copy quote

• Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Marriage, People

  40 Copy quote

• Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

  Helen Rowland

  Funny, Birthday, Marriage

  Irvin S. Cobb, Mary Roberts Rinehart, Helen Rowland, Richard Saunders (2017). “We Should All Be So Feminine: We Should All Be a Feminist: We Should All Be Feminists”, p.53, Lulu.com

  105 Copy quote

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• One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

  Judith Viorst

  Love, Marriage, Funny Valentines Day

  Judith Viorst (1987). “Love and Guilt and the Meaning of Life, Etc.”, Fireside

  54 Copy quote

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• My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

  Jimmy Durante

  Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  62 Copy quote

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