Drinking Quotes - Page 2

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  Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Funny, Witty, Clever

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Work

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

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• Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.

  Charles Bukowski

  Suicide, Wall, Beer

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• Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.

  Alice Cooper

  Christian, Beer, Rooms

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• Nothing anyone says in a bar is true.

  Mark Ruffalo

  Bars

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• I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  Jack Lemmon

  Funny, Music, Morning

  97 Copy quote

• A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

  Henny Youngman

  Beer, Drunk, Judging

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• Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Missing You, Strong, Beer

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

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• I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

  Winston Churchill

  Military, Taken, Beer

  In Quentin Reynolds By Quentin Reynolds (1964) ch. 11

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• I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic

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• If I saved all the money I spent on beer, I'd spend it on beer.

  Granger Smith

  Beer, Saved, Ifs

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• Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

  W. C. Fields

  Fifth

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• A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Humorous, Party, Drunk

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• Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

  W. C. Fields

  Alcohol, Done, Liquor Funny

  "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

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• Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

  Voltaire

  Food, Godly, Cooking

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• Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

  Adam Sandler

  Alcohol, Likes, Remember

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• First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Funny, New Year, Beer

  F. Scott Fitzgerald (2011). “On Booze (New Directions Pearls)”, p.92, New Directions Publishing

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• Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Kids

  65 Copy quote

• I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Strong

  94 Copy quote

• Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?

  Noel Coward

  Breakfast, Champagne, Don't Drink Alcohol

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• I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

  Robert Downey, Jr.

  Beer, Addiction, Alcohol

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs.

  T. S. Eliot

  Drug, Gin, Dear

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• My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

  Henny Youngman

  New York, Dad, Beer

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• Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

  Dudley Moore

  Beer, Alcohol, Liquor Funny

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• I drink therefore I am.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Clever, Beer

  18 Copy quote