A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.
Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.
It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.
Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.
You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.
I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.
Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.
Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can
It's never too early for a cocktail.
Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.
It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.
Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.
Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.
To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like.
Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?
Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.
The higher the building the lower the morals.
Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.
People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.
We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?
Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.
Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.
Work is much more fun than fun.
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