Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Homer no function beer well without.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
They who drink beer will think beer.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
I drink to make other people interesting.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: