Sam Levenson Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

  Sam Levenson

  Two, Toasters, Too Late

  12 Copy quote

• Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.

  Sam Levenson

  Children, Mean, Doctors

  4 Copy quote

• When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?

  Sam Levenson

  Freedom, Father, Boys

  9 Copy quote

• If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

  Sam Levenson

  Inspirational, Girl, Wedding

  75 Copy quote

• Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village

  Sam Levenson

  Naked, Village, Cannibal

  24 Copy quote

• Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don't know why, he does.

  Sam Levenson

  Children, Giving, Doe

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.31, Open Road Media

  19 Copy quote

• You can't start at the top.

  Sam Levenson

  New Beginnings, Fresh Start, Action

  6 Copy quote

• The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.

  Sam Levenson

  Country, Government, Doe

  12 Copy quote

• The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."

  Sam Levenson

  Media, World, Sponsors

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.168, Open Road Media

  7 Copy quote

• If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

  Sam Levenson

  Sex, Wife, Advice

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.18, Open Road Media

  4 Copy quote

• If you want to kill time why not try working it to death.

  Sam Levenson

  Time, Trying, Want

  "You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson".

  8 Copy quote

• Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.

  Sam Levenson

  Happiness, Happy, Inner Peace

  9 Copy quote

• What we should have fought for was representation without taxation.

  Sam Levenson

  Should Have, Liberty, Taxation

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.103, Open Road Media

  10 Copy quote

• The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

  Sam Levenson

  Children, Grandma, Grandmother

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.36, Open Road Media

  92 Copy quote

• I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

  Sam Levenson

  Wife, Outspoken, My Wife

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.17, Open Road Media

  7 Copy quote

• You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.

  Sam Levenson

  Inspirational, Funny, Pay

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.55, Open Road Media

  13 Copy quote

• I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.

  Sam Levenson

  Modern Life, Modern, Taxes

  Sam Levenson (1979). “You can say that again, Sam! The choice wit and wisdom of Sam Levenson”, Macmillan Reference USA

  13 Copy quote

• How wise are Thy commandments O Lord. Each one of them applies to somebody or other I know.

  Sam Levenson

  Wise, Religion, Lord

  "You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson".

  4 Copy quote

• Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

  Sam Levenson

  Baby, Children, Fun

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.179, Open Road Media

  13 Copy quote

• At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

  Sam Levenson

  Fighting, Government, Censored

  4 Copy quote

• A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

  Sam Levenson

  Sex, Home, Wife

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.22, Open Road Media

  5 Copy quote

• When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

  Sam Levenson

  Mother, Home, Assessment

  4 Copy quote

• Times don't change. Men do.

  Sam Levenson

  Inspirational, Change, Wisdom

  6 Copy quote

• There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.

  Sam Levenson

  Children, Shoes, Government

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.150, Open Road Media

  7 Copy quote

• The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.

  Sam Levenson

  America, Superstitions, Way

  Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.131, Open Road Media

  4 Copy quote

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