Molly Ivins Quotes

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Blame Cancer Country Democracy Fun Giving Guns

I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag.

Molly Ivins

Funny, Humorous, Political

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When politicians start talking about large groups of their fellow Americans as 'enemies,' it's time for a quiet stir of alertness. Polarizing people is a good way to win an election, and also a good way to wreck a country.

Molly Ivins

Country, Winning, Talking

Molly Ivins (2010). “You Got to Dance with Them What Brung You”, p.141, Vintage

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Listen to the people who are talking about how to fix what's wrong, not the ones who just work people into a snit over the problems. Listen to the people who have ideas about how to fix things, not the ones who just blame others.

Molly Ivins

Talking, Ideas, People

Molly Ivins (2010). “You Got to Dance with Them What Brung You”, p.10, Vintage

134 Copy quote
I know: "Guns Don't Kill People." But I suspect that they have something to do with it. If you point your finger at someone and say, "Bang, bang, you're dead," not much actually happens.

Molly Ivins

Gun, People, Bangs

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If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day

Molly Ivins

Inspiration, Water, Slips

Molly Ivins (2004). “Who Let the Dogs In?: Incredible Political Animals I Have Known”, p.212, Random House

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So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce.

Molly Ivins

Laughter, Fun, Freedom

"The Fun’s in the Fight". www.motherjones.com. May/June 1993.

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I learned two things growing up in Texas. 1: God loves you, and you're going to burn in hell forever. 2: Sex is the dirtiest and most dangerous thing you can possibly do, so save it for someone you love.

Molly Ivins

Sex, Growing Up, Love You

112 Copy quote
Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They're getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party.

Molly Ivins

Party, Corporations, Republican

43 Copy quote
On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes.

Molly Ivins

Order, Taxes, Offshore

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What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit.

Molly Ivins

Citizens, Twits, Egocentric

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Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.

Molly Ivins

Women, Laughing, Groups

Molly Ivins (1991). “Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?”, Random House Incorporated

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He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

Molly Ivins

Sarcastic, Eye, Keyholes

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It's like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you're wrong.

Molly Ivins

Party, Two, Differences

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It's all very well to run around saying regulation is bad, get the government off our backs, etc. Of course our lives are regulated. When you come to a stop sign, you stop; if you want to go fishing, you get a license; if you want to shoot ducks, you can shoot only three ducks. The alternative is dead bodies at the intersections, no fish and no ducks. OK?

Molly Ivins

Running, Government, Fishing

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I think of Texas as the laboratory for bad government.

Molly Ivins

Thinking, Government, Texas

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I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults.

Molly Ivins

Texas, Adults, States

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Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit.

Molly Ivins

Teaching, School, Politician

Molly Ivins, Lou Dubose (2002). “Shrub: The Short But Happy Political Life of George W. Bush”, p.131, Vintage

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The charm of Ronald Reagan is not just that he kept telling us screwy things, it was that he believed them all. No wonder we trusted him, he never lied to us. ... His stubbornness, even defiance, in the face of facts ('stupid things,' he once called them in a memorable slip) was nothing short of splendid. ... This is the man who proved that ignorance is no handicap to the presidency.

Molly Ivins

Stupid, Memorable, Ignorance

Molly Ivins (2010). “Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?”, p.104, Vintage

94 Copy quote
I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point--race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.

Molly Ivins

Lying, Believe, Race

Molly Ivins (2010). “Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?”, p.14, Vintage

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I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives.

Molly Ivins

Gun, Order, Knives

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How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion.

Molly Ivins

Party, Government, Political

Molly Ivins (2010). “You Got to Dance with Them What Brung You”, p.18, Vintage

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It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America.

Molly Ivins

Country, Struggle, America

Molly Ivins (2010). “Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?”, p.112, Vintage

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Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar.

Molly Ivins

Powerful, Weapons, Satire

"The Mouth of Texas". People Weekly, December 9, 1991.

91 Copy quote
The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging.

Molly Ivins

Political, Digging, Politics

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The impulse to make ourselves safer by making ourselves less free is an old one ... When we are badly frightened, we think we can make ourselves safer by sacrificing some of our liberties. We did it during the McCarthy era out of fear of communism. Less liberty is regularly proposed as a solution to crime, to pornography, to illegal immigration, to abortion, to all kinds of threats.

Molly Ivins

Sacrifice, Thinking, Rights

"'Evil Cowards' Threaten Freedom" by Molly Ivins, www.sfgate.com. April 25, 1995.

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Born: August 30, 1944
Died: January 31, 2007
Occupation: Columnist
Cite this Page: Citation

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