If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.
Let's not be too quick to blame the human race for everything. A great many species of animals became extinct before man ever appeared on earth.
We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.
Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.
Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped.
All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.
Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.
They [the Pilgrims] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.
The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.
A few Cobras in your home will soon clear it of Rats and Mice. Of course, you will still have the Cobras.
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?
Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.
Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell.
The Love bird is one hundred percent faithful to his mate-who is locked into the same cage.
The moral of the story of the Pilgrims is that if you work hard all your life and behave yourself every minute and take no time out for fun you will break practically even, if you can borrow enough money to pay your taxes.
A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse.
Cæsar might have married her [Cleopatra], but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.
I only know that all is lost, and that nothing can help me unless I inherit money, strike oil or go to work.
Ah, well! We live and learn, or, anyway, we live.
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