Will Cuppy Quotes - Page 2

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• Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, "Does this fish think?" I would even ask others, "Do you suppose this Butterbelly can think?" And all I would get in reply was a look. At the age of eighteen, I left the state.

  Will Cuppy

  Children, Thinking, Age

  "Do Fish Think, Really?". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  4 Copy quote

• As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous.' Isn't that just like Darwin? It was one of his main ideas, you know, that the males of almost all animals have stronger passions than the females. Since then we've learned a thing or two. At any rate, the female snake is right there when spring arrives in the woods.

  Will Cuppy

  Spring, Passion, Men

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  7 Copy quote

• The head of a Pike, served at supper, is said to have caused the death from terror of Theodoric the Goth, who imagined the fish's features to be those of Symmachus, a man he had just killed. But for this story, we of today would have no idea what Symmachus looked like.

  Will Cuppy

  Men, Ideas, Stories

  "The Pike". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country - make it any other two persons. This doesn't mean that I hate poetry. I don't feel that strongly about it. It only means that those who wish to communicate with me by means of the written word must do so in prose.

  Will Cuppy

  Country, Hate, Mean

  "How to Get From January to December". Book by Will Cuppy, 1951.

  6 Copy quote

• [Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.

  Will Cuppy

  Running, Males, Female

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  10 Copy quote

• Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch.

  Will Cuppy

  Names, Would Be, Helping

  "I'm Not the Budget Type". Scribner's Magazine CII (6), p. 19-21, 1937.

  5 Copy quote

• The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.

  Will Cuppy

  Funny, Animal, Purpose

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  10 Copy quote

• Alexander III of Macedon is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time.

  Will Cuppy

  Peace, War, Men

  "Alexander the Great". "The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody". Book by Will Cuppy, 1950.

  4 Copy quote

• Three million alligators were killed in Florida between 1880 and 1900. Goody!

  Will Cuppy

  Florida, Three, Alligators

  "The Alligator". "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  7 Copy quote

• [Footnote:]Each male has from 2 to 790 females with whom he discusses current events. Of these he marries from 3 to 17.

  Will Cuppy

  Males, Events, Female

  "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  5 Copy quote

• Aristotle maintains that the neck of the Lion is composed of a single bone. Aristotle knew nothing at all about Lions, a circumstance which did not prevent him from writing a good deal on the subject.

  Will Cuppy

  Writing, Lions, Necks

  "The Lion". "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes". Book by Will Cuppy, 1931.

  4 Copy quote

• The male is colored much more gorgeously than the female so that he can be shot and made into feather embroidery.

  Will Cuppy

  Males, Female, Embroidery

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  5 Copy quote

• It is because of his brain that he [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.

  Will Cuppy

  Science, Men, Animal

  "How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes".

  9 Copy quote

• The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

  Will Cuppy

  Voiceless, Storks

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.54, David R. Godine Publisher

  21 Copy quote

• I do not travel. I am not much of an extrovert, and I'm not much interested in extroverted objects. I do not care for the 'ideas' of novelists. Novels are wonderful, of course, but I prefer newspapers.

  Will Cuppy

  Ideas, Novelists, Care

  5 Copy quote

• It's easy to see the faults in people, I know; and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.

  Will Cuppy

  People, Faults, Easy

  8 Copy quote

• Frogs will eat red-flannel worms fed to them by biologists; this proves a great deal about both parties concerned.

  Will Cuppy

  Party, Flannels, Red

  4 Copy quote

• The Earthworm plows the whole world with his tunnels, drains and aerates the earth… If you ever buy any land, be sure it has plenty of Earthworms toiling and moiling all day so that you can sit down and relax.

  Will Cuppy

  Tunnels, Land, Relax

  6 Copy quote

• I hear so many things about who I am supposed to be I hardly know what to believe. I am willing to tell all, but what Is it? Doubtless all these myths and legends will be straightened out eventually, but It may take years.

  Will Cuppy

  Believe, Who I Am, Years

  "Living from Can to Mouth". "Brooklyn Eagle" Magazine, November 24, 1929.

  4 Copy quote

• Most people, it seems, think that Robinson Crusoe when he landed on his Island had nothing to keep him from starvation or anything else. As a matter of fact he had twelve raft loads of supplies that he took off the wrecked ship. He had as much food and furniture as if he had had a delicatessen store and Fifth Avenue outside his hut.

  Will Cuppy

  Thinking, Islands, People

  "Living from Can to Mouth". Comic interview with Jo Ranson for Brooklyn Eagle Magazine, No. 5, November 24, 1929.

  8 Copy quote

• Aristotle described the Crow as chaste. In some departments of knowledge, Aristotle was too innocent for his own good.

  Will Cuppy

  Crow, Innocent, Chaste

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.52, David R. Godine Publisher

  4 Copy quote

• The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.

  Will Cuppy

  Zebras, Believe, Fall

  Will Cuppy (1944). “The Great Bustard and Other People: Containing: How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes and How to Become Extinct”

  42 Copy quote

• The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be.

  Will Cuppy

  Animal, Looks, Hippopotamus

  Will Cuppy, P. G. Wodehouse (2005). “How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes”, p.113, David R. Godine Publisher

  8 Copy quote

• During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the climate, and he was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what had he done with the elephants they sent before.

  Will Cuppy

  Home, Years, Elephants

  Will Cuppy (2008). “The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody”, p.43, David R. Godine Publisher

  4 Copy quote

• Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty species, most of them deadly, and Europe has only five or six, none of them much good. We have fifteen kinds of Rattlesnakes alone and nobody else has even one. [Footnote: There is a species in Central and South America, but it probably came from here.]

  Will Cuppy

  Country, Europe, Snakes

  "How to Become Extinct". Book by Will Cuppy, 1941.

  54 Copy quote

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