Toasters Quotes

• If Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana were "candles in the wind," and Anna Nicole Smith was a bonfire in a hailstorm, and Lindsay Lohan is an electric toaster thrown intentionally into a Jacuzzi, then Paris Hilton s a strobe light in an epilepsy ward.

  Cintra Wilson

  Princess, Light, Wind

  16 Copy quote

• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

  Dave Barry

  God, Appreciate, Stupidity

  8 Copy quote

• I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Science, Parent

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  37 Copy quote

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• And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

  Karl Pilkington

  Wedding, Reason, No Reason

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.

  Alfred Hitchcock

  Buttons, Television, Pops

  16 Copy quote

• In the long run, everything is a toaster.

  Bruce Greenwald

  Running, Long, Long Runs

  9 Copy quote

• If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

  Clint Eastwood

  Inspirational, Funny, Sarcastic

  "Fictional character: Nick Pulovski". "The Rookie", www.imdb.com. 1990.

  80 Copy quote

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• But the toaster was quite satisfied with itself, thank you. Though it knew from magazines that there were toasters who could toast four slices at a time, it didn't think that the master, who lived alone and seemed to have few friends, would have wanted a toaster of such institutional proportions. With toast, it's quality that matters, not quantity.

  Thomas M. Disch

  Thinking, Quality, Magazines

  Thomas M. Disch (1986). “The brave little toaster: a bedtime story for small appliances”, Doubleday Books for Young Readers

  8 Copy quote

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• I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Witty, Baby

  "The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said"by R. Byrne, (p. 94), 2003.

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• Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

  Sam Levenson

  Two, Too Late, Settings

  12 Copy quote

• The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been extremely chastened to realize that although he originally came from a world which had cars and computers and ballet and Armagnac, he didn't, by himself, know how any of it worked. He couldn't do it. Left to his own devices he couldn't build a toaster. He could just about make a sandwich and that was it.

  Douglas Adams

  Car, Ballet, Sandwiches

  Douglas Adams (2009). “Mostly Harmless”, p.74, Pan Macmillan

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• Never put a sock in a toaster.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Twitter post from Feb 21, 2015

  17 Copy quote

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• To leave the world a little better than you found it. That's the best a man can ever do.

  Paul Auster

  Men, World, Littles

  Paul Auster (2010). “Timbuktu: A Novel”, p.59, Macmillan

  7 Copy quote

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• Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

  Erma Bombeck

  Next, Cleanliness, Neighborhood

  6 Copy quote

• Burn bread every day boy, no toaster

  Drake

  Humble, Boys, Bread

  4 Copy quote

• I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• Television is just another appliance- It's just a toaster with pictures.

  Mark S. Fowler

  Television, Appliances

  Interview with Reason Magazine, May 1982.

  11 Copy quote

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• I don't want to give the impression that I hold daily conversations with my household appliances, although my toaster is as old as Drew Barrymore and almost as talented.

  Tom Robbins

  Giving, Want, Conversation

  4 Copy quote

• The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.

  Charlie Sheen

  Morning, Mean, Lasts

  4 Copy quote

• I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Girl, Food

  6 Copy quote

• I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

  Dane Cook

  Giving, Today, Comedy

  24 Copy quote

• Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.

  Erma Bombeck

  Religious, Next, Cheese

  39 Copy quote

• Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?

  Dave Barry

  Doe, World, Today

  16 Copy quote

• Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.

  Christopher Moore

  Badass, Darkness

  4 Copy quote

• That's all I've ever dreamed of, Mr. Bones. To make the world a better place. To bring some beauty to the drab humdrum corners of the soul. You can do it with a toaster, you can do it with a poem, you can do it by reaching out your hand to a stranger. It doesn't matter what form it takes. To leave the world a little better than you found it. That's the best a man can ever do.

  Paul Auster

  Men, Hands, Soul

  Paul Auster (2008). “Collected Novels”

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