Amy Schumer Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• I feel like you know what you're going to be good at when you're older based on what you like when you're younger. When I was younger my best friend was Tony, this kid Tony, and he loved rocks. He was always playing with rocks, counting them, and now he's a crack head.

  Amy Schumer

  Kids, Rocks, My Best Friend

  7 Copy quote

• You shoot saltwater in your ass?

  Amy Schumer

  Ass

  6 Copy quote

• I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.

  Amy Schumer

  Never Forget, Forget, I Realized

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

  Amy Schumer

  Cute, Beautiful, Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!

  Amy Schumer

  Night, Best Night Of My Life, Best Night

  7 Copy quote

• Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

  Amy Schumer

  Glamour, Force, Lifts

  4 Copy quote

• I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?

  Amy Schumer

  Get Better, Want, Imagine

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

  5 Copy quote

• I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.

  Amy Schumer

  Scary, Threat

  Source: www.glamour.com

  4 Copy quote

• I care about what the people I care about think about me. It's a short list, but I really care about what those people think.

  Amy Schumer

  Thinking, People, Care

  Source: www.glamour.com

  4 Copy quote

• I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

  Amy Schumer

  Dark, Say Anything, Shock

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

• I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.

  Amy Schumer

  Glasses, Twists, Chardonnay

  4 Copy quote

• My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.

  Amy Schumer

  College, Theater, Backgrounds

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.

  Amy Schumer

  Crazy, Reality, Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.

  Amy Schumer

  Thinking, People, Laughing

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. October 03, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

• Song "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" is actually about syphilis.

  Amy Schumer

  Song, Syphilis, Sixteen

  Source: www.popmatters.com

  6 Copy quote

• I only wear heels when it's 100-percent required, and even sometimes not then. I have to talk myself into a bra. I've done an hour of standup where I've been like, "I don't have to wear a bra tonight." If you're going to be on camera, you have to get it together, but other than that, I am pretty lazy as a woman.

  Amy Schumer

  Lazy, Together, Cameras

  Source: www.esquire.com

  4 Copy quote

• I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.

  Amy Schumer

  College, Play, Naked

  Source: www.popmatters.com

  4 Copy quote

• I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!

  Amy Schumer

  Song, Play, Albums

  4 Copy quote

• I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.

  Amy Schumer

  Play, Actresses, Comic

  Source: www.popmatters.com

  4 Copy quote

• I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

  Amy Schumer

  Rivers, Passed Away, Mets

  "Amy Schumer: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 14, 2015.

  4 Copy quote

• I feel very comfortable in my own skin. When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad. It's not true. I'm right where I should be.

  Amy Schumer

  Mad, Skins, Should

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

  Amy Schumer

  Stuff I Like, Stuff, Jokes

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• The truth is, whoever I've dated, if I've ever wanted to talk about them on stage, I've asked them first, and I've gotten their permission to tell a story or talk about them before I do it.

  Amy Schumer

  Stories, Firsts, Truth Is

  "Play Ball! Comedian Amy Schumer Plays Not My Job". "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. April 4, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.

  Amy Schumer

  Proud, Stills, Jokes

  "Play Ball! Comedian Amy Schumer Plays Not My Job". "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. April 4, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women. I don't really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I'm gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I'm on.

  Amy Schumer

  Responsibility, People, Comedian

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

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