Amy Sedaris Quotes

Quotes about:

• Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

  Amy Sedaris

  Girlfriend, Real, Women

  48 Copy quote

• Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

  Amy Sedaris

  Pet, Losing, Sometimes

  41 Copy quote

• I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

  Amy Sedaris

  Being Alone, Opportunity, Thinking

  Amy Sedaris (2008). “I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence”, p.302, Hachette UK

  21 Copy quote

• Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.

  Amy Sedaris

  Baby, Thinking, Order

  "Wigfield". Book by Amy Sedaris, Paul Dinello, and Stephen Colbert, 2003.

  18 Copy quote

• Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

  Amy Sedaris

  4 Copy quote

• There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

  Amy Sedaris

  Interview with David Wolinsky, www.avclub.com. May 6, 2008.

  4 Copy quote

• It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

  Amy Sedaris

  Prison Time, Fire, Broken

  12 Copy quote

• Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.

  Amy Sedaris

  Land, Two, Giving

  12 Copy quote

• Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.

  Amy Sedaris

  Self Esteem, People, Wish

  8 Copy quote

• If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.

  Amy Sedaris

  Listening, Shy, Persons

  4 Copy quote

• I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.

  Amy Sedaris

  Men, Shoes, Feet

  "Strangers with Candy". www.imdb.com. 1999 - 2000.

  9 Copy quote

• You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

  Amy Sedaris

  Character, Air, Watches

  14 Copy quote

• Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

  Amy Sedaris

  Relationship, Thinking, Doors

  14 Copy quote

• As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.

  Amy Sedaris

  Party, Heart, Simple

  9 Copy quote

• Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.

  Amy Sedaris

  Jobs, Reality, Thinking

  "Amy Sedaris: The Believer Interview". Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.ericspitznagel.com. March, 2004.

  4 Copy quote

• Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.

  Amy Sedaris

  Gestation Period, Ideas, People

  7 Copy quote

• I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.

  Amy Sedaris

  Thinking, People, Unattractive

  21 Copy quote

• You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.

  Amy Sedaris

  Thinking, Imagination, Joy

  4 Copy quote

• Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.

  Amy Sedaris

  School, Catholic, Stories

  7 Copy quote

• If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.

  Amy Sedaris

  Party, Drinking, Cat

  7 Copy quote

• My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

  Amy Sedaris

  God, Mom, Easter

  9 Copy quote

• I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.

  Amy Sedaris

  Kids, Thinking, Feelings

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

  10 Copy quote

• although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.

  Amy Sedaris

  Teenager, Hands, Devil

  19 Copy quote

• I like to be the one in charge of everything.

  Amy Sedaris

  Interview with David Wolinsky, tv.avclub.com. May 6, 2008.

  4 Copy quote

• I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.

  Amy Sedaris

  Ideas, Inspired, Feels

  4 Copy quote

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