I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.
I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.
I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.
The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.
Exercise is the main thing that helped me lose weight.
People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.
But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy.
When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.
When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot.
When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.
I had no problem going into retirement mode, ... I do what other retired guys do. I putter around the house and travel.
Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.
I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.
One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.
The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.
We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.
My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.
Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.
For 'Power of 10,' you can look at the methodology at CBS.com, it's a company called Rasmussen Reports. We poll thousands and thousands of people for each question, a real cross section of the United States.
Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?
I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.
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